


With You, To The End

by Achini



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Divorce, Drama, F/M, Family Drama, Politics, Post-Divorce, Romance, Scandal, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 03:24:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 40,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18357611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Achini/pseuds/Achini
Summary: Life for Kim Sung Gyu wasn't as easy as he imagined, being the youngest politician to hold a high position in the nation's legislation.Fortunately for him, however, Sung Gyu had a little someone, standing with him to face the challenges of his life,during the darkest of his days.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to you who inspired me.
> 
> And of course to Sung Gyu.
> 
> And my cats.

“This is ridiculous” Sung Gyu muttered under his breath as he hurried across the vast hallway, past his expectantly waiting subordinates, the weight of the world plagued upon him. Ridiculous was an understatement for the vile turn that his life had suddenly taken, although that was the kindest and most professionally appropriate description that he could use. It was beyond ridiculous. It was fucking pandemonium.

The only thing he liked about his new office was the consistent air conditioning in the sweltering summer heat, the plush chair behind the large mahogany table and the strategically secluded office room, away from all the judging eyes of the world. He wasn’t even sure why he deserved them, all those side eyed glares, hushed conversations and criticisms he received on a daily basis. It wasn’t like he ever really asked for this. It just so happened, and he hated himself. He realised, it had to be what they said about being too smart and having way too many potentials when he was back in college. It never really came to him as a blessing. Too much of anything never did. He should have known this by then. But he had not a single clue.

A couple of years later then, aged Thirty-Six, Kim Sung Gyu was appointed the Vice-Minister of the Legislation Ministry. He was a politician; literally a politician, with guards and expensive cars and a nine-figure salary that he’d never even dreamed of receiving. As nice as it all sounded in the beginning, Sung Gyu frankly felt like he was being punished for being too bright for his own good. He didn’t want it. He’d rather remain in the peaceful division he’d always been in.

“...and finally, the detective from NIS had scheduled a meeting with you this afternoon, and as its urgent, your entire afternoon is cleared”

His secretary was still talking, he realised, her small but polite voice was so much as a shrill cry in the back of his mind. These days, a lot of things got stored temporally in the back of his mind; meetings, presentations, panel discussions. Sort of like a cache memory which immediately cleared itself when overloaded. He knew it, all the way from the beginning that he was not ready for such great responsibilities. He was strong, alright. Having been engaged in law and jurisdiction in his entire career, he had to admit it was his best suite. But running an entire office was not really his cup of tea. He couldn’t take the pressure, he couldn’t deal with the responsibilities. And on top of that, shit had to take a different turn and literally hit the fan.

“When is the meeting with NIS?” Sung Gyu asked her, his voice strangely authoritative despite how he actually felt. He hated himself, really. This was why they thought he was the right candidate. He just couldn’t be sincere enough. He sounded so resilient and authoritative, so sure of himself. He’d often heard from his family and everyone he knew. Sung Gyu was intimidating, confident; attractive. No wonder he got himself into unnecessary trouble on a daily basis.

“Uh...at one-thirty, sir. I’ve scheduled it in one of the conference rooms, as demanded”

“Demanded by whom?” Sung Gyu raised his brows.

“The NIS, sir”

The fucking nerve.

“Fine” Sung Gyu sighed. “Anything else?”

The secretary consulted her portable. “Not for the moment sir”

“Good. I’ll see you after lunch”

He remained seated, straight and strong, his head held high; pretentious, all until the secretary disappeared behind the door. As soon as the door closed however, he collapsed against the plush chair, groaned audibly and tugged at the knot of his tie in exasperation. Ridiculous. That’s what it was. It was ridiculous, what his life had become.

 

 

Sung Gyu had never really wanted to be a politician. He wanted to be a civil servant, only because that’s what both his parents were. And he wanted to be a good citizen; that’s what his social responsibility was. Having grown up and having reached a certain stage in his life, he’d come to understand that he couldn’t possibly be all three all at once. If he was a politician, he would still be a civil servant, but he’d no longer be a good citizen. On the other hand, if he wanted to be a good citizen, he wouldn’t be both a civil servant and a politician. If he was a good citizen and a civil servant, well then, he wouldn’t be a good politician. Funny how these things worked. They never really took the course that their textbooks used to say. It was a struggle, becoming who he’d turned out to be. The problem was, however, how was he going to survive? Be a good citizen, a civil servant and a politician, how could he survive? That was the question.

It all started a couple of months later after he took over his position as the Vice-Minister of the legislation. Sung Gyu already knew just how vile and toxic a good media play could be. He’d seen that, he’d worked with that. But he’d never imagined he’d ever become a victim of one. Becoming the youngest ever to hold such a high ranked position in the political arena then became a nightmare for him, as the media began to dig into a past he’d never known he’d had. Things started, and then things progressed, then ultimately, he was accused of having been involved in some secret meeting among preceding judges on special treatment towards a large business conglomerate, some master plan on bailing the defendant out of prison.

The problem was, though; Sung Gyu didn’t even remember having any such meeting with preceding judges ever in his life as a judge. He was severely underpaid, but he was professional. He did his job right. He didn’t even remember a case about a business conglomerate that he was involved in anyway. True, they judged hundreds of different cases every month and hardly any of them stayed in his mind. But a secret meeting would remain with him surely. It was supposed to be a secret. Was he the kind to forget a secret? He supposed not. So how did he get involved in it anyway?

The question kept him up from his sleep every single night.

 

 

That afternoon, after a lunch in his office canteen which he barely touched, frustrated by the side-long glances he got, he waited patiently in the conference room for the meeting to begin. The mask was on back again. Inside he was a nervous wreck, outside he was calm and poised, uncaring as a block of wood. Someone could so much as poke him with a finger and he’d collapse in a mental breakdown; but when he spoke, he sounded like someone who actually knew what he was doing.

The truth was, though, Sung Gyu did know what he was doing. He wasn’t sure how he got caught in this whirlwind anyway. It was just an ugly media play. He was pretty sure he didn’t get involved in some illegal bailing masterplan. But the image he had was just on the brink of getting tarnished, and the meeting with the NIS detective today would decide everything. It depended on how he carried himself, how he presented himself; how confident he was making his claims, laying out his points. Even a single blink of an eye mattered. Fortunately, he knew how these interrogations went. And he also knew just how much it could stand against him as well.

A couple of minutes later, the door to the conference room opened, and Sung Gyu regained his composure. He remained still, unsmiling. He couldn’t let his frustration show. The sound of the door opening was followed by a series of hushed speaking voices and the sound of high heals on the marble floor. Sung Gyu stood up from his plush chair, clocked in the sight of the NIS officer, and he stared.

If the things couldn’t possibly be any worse.

He had to continuously remind himself to keep his face straight and don’t just fucking react. It took so much of his self-constraint, but he couldn’t help but realise how it was becoming even more ridiculous.

“Kim Sung Gyu” he bowed almost mechanically, his face absolutely stoic, almost robotic. But he didn’t fail to grasp that crinkle of a smile in her eyes.

“Jung Hyerim” The NIS officer replied. Her voice was stern and resonant, but the small almost mischievous curve of her smile seemed to insinuate more than what he bargained for.

“Shall we start?”

Sung Gyu nodded. And they did.

The interrogation went as smoothly and expediently as all first interrogations went. He’d thought there would be lie detectors and all the whatnot that all these investigators from NIS used. He never really knew they didn’t use those for real; he hadn’t been a criminal in his life the first place. As the idea floated into his mind, he felt bile in his throat. All his life he’d tried his best to live the life of a respectable citizen. He’d never committed a crime, not even a small one. He’d never gotten a parking ticket or run a traffic light, he paid all the taxes in time and never missed a single rent. He hadn’t even cheated on a government examination and voted diligently in every election; yet here he was, being interrogated for what could be one of the worst crimes a judge, present or former could ever commit ever in their lives.

Apparently, the media had received them from a secret, anonymous informant as soon as he’d been appointed - hence becoming the youngest high-ranking executive in the Ministry of Legislation. It could have been out of spite, perhaps. Or it could have been with the sole purpose of ruining his career and his reputation for good. Sung Gyu was on the tip-top position in his career, with a clean profile and potentials and a look of absolute confidence and intimidation. He was a character that anyone would want to break apart. As the detective explained the course of the crime, Sung Gyu felt trapped and pinned to a corner, frustrated and defenceless. When he’d first accepted the job position, it wasn’t what he’d expected. He’d thought he was well deserving, but apparently not everyone thought that he did.

“It’s a series of wiretapped conversations, all from the inside of a mediation room” Jung Hyerim informed him in her chilled, exuberant tones. As she spoke, Sung Gyu realised two things. One was that he had never known anyone ever had access to mediation rooms in the court other than the judges, clerks and the guards let alone bug them unless it was during an actual mitigation, which happened under surveillance, so the idea itself appeared ridiculous to him. The second was that he’d never heard Jung Hyerim talk in a tone like this. He hadn’t even thought it was possible for her to, as all he’d heard and seen was a completely different her.

The interrogation ended with the NIS team promising to look into the possibility of fabrication of events and possibly giving him the access to the recordings as the investigation progressed. Until everything was clarified, he was still allowed work as appointed, innocent until proven guilty, yet he was not permitted to leave the country or his current place of residence. He would be under guard apparently, which was going to be a pain in the neck. The interrogation was fruitful still. At least he still had a say in it. At least he still had the chance to prove his innocence.

But as the day came to an end, Sung Gyu leaving work after a long and exhausting day, everything appeared inconceivable, uncertain. What if he indeed had ben engaged in such a conversation yet it had skipped his mind? What if he had, god forbid, been engaged in a conversation he most certainly knew no heads and tales of and still had given his opinion? There’d been millions of meetings that he’d had with the fellow presiding judges in his division; even from outside his division. He had barely kept track on what he’d heard and discussed, what had transpired back in a completely different phase in his life. It’s been ages already, he’d done almost two different jobs since he’d received his promotion from his earliest position. And whatever happened just about eight years ago had completely left his mind. He hated it that now all the things that he’d somehow forgotten now remained a stifling dark cloud above his mind.

“That’s a lot of beer for one person” A familiar voice floated into his mind and Sung Gyu took a moment to come to. He looked around himself almost dazedly, down at the twelve-pack of chilled cans of beer in his hand and then across the isle at the owner of the voice. She had raised her brows so high that they disappeared behind her clumsy bangs. Upon meeting his confused gaze, she gave him one of her usual crinkling smiles.

“Oh umm...” Sung Gyu slowly returned the Twelve pack into the fridge and grabbed himself a six-pack instead. She was right across the isle still, observantly watching him. It was the tension and exasperation of that noon all over again. Sung Gyu let out a heavy sigh and turned to the other.

“What do you want Jung?”

Jung Hyerim gave him one of her signature doe-eyed looks and shrugged. It was strange how her personality could take a complete 180 degree turn outside of work. Not that he’d met her as a criminal at work before. He’d met her a couple of times during working hours, and she’d been unreachable; stoic and stern, professional. Come evening, however, she changed character completely like wolves transformed in the full moon.

“Leave me alone then” Sung Gyu groaned grumpily and pushed his shopping cart away from her. He wanted to be away from her, far, far away from her. He’d kept a fair distance from her for the past couple of years; but she’d been able to step over the boundaries a couple of times, and it was almost impossible to shove her away. Due to the recent advances of their professional interventions, Sung Gyu had to increase his distance from her by a multitude. He might as well change his usual place of grocery shopping, and maybe move out too, if possible.

“Are you trying to avoid me?” Her chirpy voice came from behind him, and he considered leaving his shopping cart behind and leaving for good. He was here for just some Ramen and Beer. It was one of those Friday nights when he’d be binge drinking to pass out on his futon and throw up all over the toilet bowl next morning. He could get Ramen and Beer just about anywhere, if that meant he’d be avoiding the woman who literally now had his whole life in her hands.

“I’m tired, Jung” Sung Gyu sighed again, and concentratedly went through the content in the Ramen isle. Hyerim was just behind him, humming thoughtfully as she looked through the content in his cart. He hated that she always acted like his personal detective, all until she became his personal detective herself. She criticised his eating habits, she criticised his choice of ties and mode of transport and everything he did after having observed him with a careful eye, all the way down to what he’d been feeding his (sister’s) cat. Sung Gyu was tired, frankly, of having her hanging behind him, watching everything that he did. It wasn’t like she was stalking him. She did that to everyone. It was just what she liked doing. Its just that he’d been her unwilling client for just far too long.

“That’s a different brand of kibbles today. Momo is not going to like that” Hyerim informed him before she moved past him for the instant noodles. Another thing about Hyerim was that her best and the biggest interest more than him was his (Sister’s) cat. It was because of that thing that they made acquaintance in the first place. Ever since then, Hyerim’s been lugging behind him like a slug he was just too repulsed to tug off. Sung Gyu ignored her, grabbed his cart and moved away. He’d had enough of her for the day, what with the whole investigation fiasco. One Jung Hyerim was more than enough for him. Two of them, or one with multiple personalities, he didn’t think he could handle.

“Hey Kim” Hyerim called him again. Sung Gyu ignored her, moved down to the frozen foods isle and picked through the measly pork sausages with no interest.

“Kim! I need...a bit of help here”

“Do it yourself” Sung Gyu groaned lowly under his breath.

“Kim...I just...I can’t...”

Sung Gyu gave it one second, and then two, then closed his eyes. Why did Kim Sung Gyu always act like a push over? Why did he always respond to people’s demands? Why did he let people do whatever they wanted with him?

He wanted to get done with things, that’s what. He was just tired.

“What do you want” He so much as growled but demanded, only to turn back and see Hyerim struggling to reach the top shelf. One of her legs was balancing her on the rack and her small bony hand was clutching onto it as the other pawed desperately at her favourite noodles. Sung Gyu let out a frustrated sigh and approached her. He could easily reach the top shelf without so much as raising his hand. He grabbed about three packets for good measure and dumped them unceremoniously in her cart. Then he stomped away.

Another thing about Jung Hyerim was that, at about age of twelve, she must have stopped growing. He must be not right about this one, as she was a fully-grown woman herself. But she was just about a five feet tall tiny woman, barely reaching his chest if they stood face to face with each other. Thing was, they could never be face to face, not even if they were sitting in the same height. He could fold her into two and tuck her in his pocket if he had to. But her miniature physique didn’t stop her from making other people’s lives’ miserable. She was cute, kind of. She looked youthful for her age. Sung Gyu always thought she was pretty in his eyes, but god, as soon as she opened her mouth-,

“What are you so mad about?” Hyerim was asking him as she followed him down the aisle. “Is it about today? You shouldn’t be mad at me, honestly. I was trying to help you...and stuff”

Sung Gyu halted in the middle of the aisle and turned to her. “Did I talk to you just now?”

“Huh? No... but” She shrugged and lowered her gaze.

“Good” Sung gyu muttered and moved ahead.

“But come on, don’t be mad at me. I mean, I trust you and I think everything is just stupid and-,”

In panic, Sung Gyu moved hurriedly towards her and pressed a hand on her mouth. Hyerim and her fucking trap. It was for this reason that he despised her; she had no control over her mouth, and despite being a detective, she’d be one day doing a jail sentence for revealing important government secrets.

“Hrmp! Let me go!” Hyerim snapped and Sung Gyu pushed her away from him. “Shut your trap, geez”

“I wasn’t talking about anything” She snapped again. “It’s just...I don’t know, stop being so moody”

“Well, if what happened to me happened to just about anyone, moody is the last thing they would be” Sung Gyu spat back at her, exasperated.

“I understand you” Hyerim shrugged. “It’s a pretty big deal, yes...but can’t you like, I don’t know, have some faith in me on this?”

“Faith? On you?” Sung Gyu scoffed and moved away. “Faith my butt”

“You should. Because I can help you out”

Sung Gyu halted and slowly turned to face her. She was small and pretty and loud mouthed and everything he despised. But for that one moment, Jung Hyerim was suddenly the girl that he saw in the interrogation room in the morning. Stern and honest and unyielding. She seemed to carry promise within her, and he wanted to trust her. He wanted to, but-,

“There’s nothing you can do about it” He sighed.

There was long moment of quietness, and the two of them stared at each other, expectant, anxious. Hyerim bit her lip. “I know you. We’ve been neighbours for five years, Kim. And I know you enough to know that you wouldn’t...” She trailed off and stared at him, and her eyes seemed to tell him everything that he refused to indulge. That she trusted him, that she knew he would never be one of them, that she knew him better. But would that even be enough to prove his innocence? To a whole court? To a whole government? To a whole country?

What could this small girl do anyway? How can she even go against a force that she hadn’t even an idea of its multitudes?

And why did it have to be her, of all the people?

Sung Gyu stared at Jung Hyerim for a moment, and he let out a sigh. He was expectant. He couldn’t help himself to be not to. But he couldn’t let it show. “Just...leave me be” He told her instead.


	2. Chapter 2

The truth of the matter was this. Kim Sung Gyu was a careless asshole who put the blame on others for the poor life choices he’d made.

Of course, the position at the legislation ministry wasn’t something that he was appointed out of the blue. He went through the usual protocol, and he was elected. And to be elected he needed to have run for the election; and that was the poor life choice that he made. Kim Sung Gyu thought that he was indeed a good enough candidate to take over half the responsibilities of the legislation despite his age and expertise. He’d had his parents telling him countless times to reconsider what he was about to do. His sister had come over to his place, her six months old child held against her hip and all the way from their hometown, trying to persuade him to change his mind. He was overconfident, perhaps. He was indeed just so sure of himself at that time. Now that he’d come here and as the reality loomed about him like dark sardonic ghosts, he came to understand that what he’d always been all this time was not confident or strong. He’d been an asshole.

He’d always been an asshole, and he’d always known that. He lived by his own rules. He never broke a single law, alright; that was his rule for life. But he was one of those terrible people who wouldn’t feed the homeless and who wouldn’t take an overcrowded tube just for the inconvenience that it caused him. He hated it when poor and old people stood outside the subway entrance giving out leaflets. He hated it when small children stared up at him expectantly on the street as their balloons got stuck in the branches of a tree. He never realised that the world would get back to him for all the wrong that he did. He’d thought he’d done enough good things to compensate for the asshole he’d always been. But surely that wasn’t the case.

The only good that he supposed he’d done was taking in his sister’s ginger tabby cat. After her son was born and after it was diagnosed that he was allergic to them, Jieun had no choice but to give the cat away. Momo wasn’t a particularly friendly cat. She was fat and evil and somehow, she reminded him so much of himself. The only reason Sung Gyu actually did take her in was to show that he was capable of commitment. He hated it now that most of the poor choices he’d made had been to prove a point to someone or to himself.

When he returned home that evening, lagging two grocery bags in his hands, he found Momo napping outside the door, rolled like a cinnamon bun on the carpeted floor. There’d been odd occasions when Momo sneaked out of the house and returned home by her own will, and he wouldn’t have been so worried or surprised. Tonight, however, he felt the distinctive shift in that more than usual event. For one, Momo was having seasonal allergies so she was soundly asleep in his bed when he left home that morning, so she wouldn’t have gotten out of the house. Secondly, she would only leave house in such circumstances only on one instance; she’d been scared off.

Concerned, Sung Gyu slowly entered the passcode and waited for the door to unlock. It did so with a beep, and he stepped inside, the motion sense lights coming to life. It was only then that he realised; his hunch had been right. He’d sensed that something was definitely wrong the moment he’d returned home. And he was right. Everything was wrong.

Sung Gyu forced the cat back inside, dumped the grocery bags and fled out of the house. He knew just one person who had access to his house. And he knew that they had a whole ass reason too. Sung gyu perhaps always knew the woman had something fishy going on in her dual personality of a life. Bitch. Sung Gyu should have stopped associating with her from the beginning itself.

He reached her flat and so much as bashed onto the door with all his might. She had to be home by now, although he’d left her behind in the grocery store. He waited patiently for one, two seconds. Then he heard footsteps. He felt blood boiling in his veins. Not only did she have an insufferable trap of a mouth, she also was a lying wench.

The door opened, and Jung Hyerim, with her hair in a towel turban, poked her head out. “Hello Kim. What’s up?”

Sung Gyu took a deep breath, and he was calm when he spoke although underneath, he was struggling to stop himself from strangling her then and there. “It was you, wasn’t it?”

There was a beat of silence, and Hyerim raised her brows. “I was what?”

“My flat”

Hyerim still gazed at him, appearing perplexed and shook her head. “I’m not quite following you”

Sung Gyu pushed open the door and grabbed hold of her hand. If it was an insufferable lying bitch she was going to continue being, he wasn’t going to tolerate her either. “Come here I’ll show you” he growled under his breath and dragged her all the way back to his flat.

His entire home was flipped upside down. The furniture were flipped over, cushions thrown about. The tiled floor was littered with dozens and dozens of papers, old legal documents and some of the other work he’d brought home. His flat was open planned so from his living room to the office to the bedroom, everything’s been pulled apart; it was as if an entire storm had rolled inside. Sung Gyu knew what that meant. The police had raided his home.

“Oh god” Was Hyerim’s initial reaction upon seeing the state of his house. She stepped inside carefully, her arms held up and threading through the mess, her eyes cautiously detecting the inside. But Sung Gyu was not about to be convinced by her. Jung Hyerim could play two personalities within a day. It wasn’t so difficult for her to act so clueless, surely.

“It was you wasn’t it? You and your team raided my home without my fucking permission” Sung Gyu bellowed at her. Eunji was quiet for a moment, almost contemplative, and turned to face him. “Kim. We do not ‘raid homes’ like you put it, we investigate, and that’s only if we’ve gotten a warrant. We didn’t and we wouldn’t until...” She let out a sigh and turned back into the house. She had transformed back into the serious officer that she was. “Kim, I think you’ve been attacked”

Sung Gyu blinked. “What?”

“Somebody’s after you” She said, now carefully looking through the items that’s been strewn about. “Did you touch anything inside?”

Sung Gyu took a deep breath. “Now? Nothing except for the cat and the grocery”

“Good” Said Hyerim and made her way back to him. “Grab the cat and the grocery and come over to my place”

“Now?”

“Now. We need to bring in a swat team”

 

Within minutes, an entire swat team as well as Hyerim’s team of investigators were in his flat, walking through everything that used to be his home. He was interrogated by one of the Officers and he had to make sure he didn’t let out Hyerim’s identity and the truth about their relationship as he carefully answered all the questions. The officer recorded all his statements, and he watched the small recording device nervously, his mind in a whirlwind. Once all was done, Hyerim returned to the headquarters and sent him a text with the passcode to her home. Sung Gyu was too shocked and distraught to even decide what he should do next. He stayed in her apartment, the cat resting in his lap, and in his mind, he wondered all the possibilities.

Somewhere deep into the night, Hyerim returned home. It was by the sound of the door beeping that he finally woke up; he didn’t even realise that he’d dozed off through his troubled train of thoughts. Hyerim walked past him briskly, almost as if she’d forgotten him ever being in there and proceeded to take off her coat. It was then that he realised that she had indeed forgotten of his presence in her home.

Sung Gyu cleared his throat.

“Oh my, you gave me a real shock” Hyerim clutched her chest.

“What happened?” Sung Gyu launched, ignoring her, and upon his question Hyerim hurriedly approached him and settled on the coffee table before him. She was almost slightly his height as she sat there, only because Sung Gyu remained hunched down. But her aura, so different from usual was almost intimidating him.

“So, we cleared out the whole place. Not wired nor bugged. As the documents were everywhere, strewn about, we suspect that’s what intruder came for” She explained.

“Documents?” Sung Gyu furrowed his brows. “Did you find anything unusual?”

“Well except for that whole mess, not really. There are no finger prints except for yours, so I suppose they left no trace”

“Documents” Sung Gyu repeated to himself contemplatively and divulged into his own thoughts. What documents could they possibly be after? It’s been six years since he left his job at the court, and although he’d brought lots of things from work, he hardly doubted that he brought home anything that actually had anything to do with the cases he dealt with. On the other hand, he was pretty sure that there’d never ben a case that he’d discussed with the others. Sung Gyu used to work in civil affairs, which were all pretty nondescript stuff, except for a few odds but-,

Well, if he was to be frank, he couldn’t remember. He couldn’t remember shit. At this point he could have even been involved in some discreet corruption scheme for all he cared. There were just too many things to process, too many things happening and-,

“Well, there are investigations underway” Hyerim informed him.

“What about my flat?” Sung Gyu asked her exasperatedly. And Hyerim responded with a twist of her mouth.

“So I can’t go home tonight?” He pushed on. Hyerim shook her head. “Its possible the evidence can be disturbed”

“Oh fuck” Sung Gyu groaned and buried his face in his hands. So much for his being drinking and passing out tonight. It was almost as if the day couldn’t get any worse. How could he possibly spend an entire night in an uncomfortably close proximity to Jung Hyerim? An entire night?

“Ah I need a drink” He muttered under his breath.

 

 

Hyerim’s flat wasn’t much different from his own; except that it was much cleaner and neater and had a distinct scent of potpourri and vanilla which made it definitely feminine compared to his own. As Momo soundly slept in Hyerim’s impeccable leather sofa, Sung Gyu followed after Hyerim to her small open planned kitchenette. In contrary to his own which was almost always littered with take away wrappers, Hyerim’s had a sink full of dirty dishes piled up. There was a scented candle on top of the cabinet which made the entire place smell of cinnamon. Sung Gyu timidly sat down in one of the kitchen chairs, feeling quite discomforted by the idea that it had been ages since he last crossed the threshold of a woman’s flat.

“What would you like? I’ve got beer, some Soju...and an odd bottle of scotch...” Hyerim was saying as she looked through the kitchen cabinets. She was quite an attractive woman, if he was to be honest. Especially when she behaved a little more matured for her age. Sung Gyu’s gaze followed her as she traversed the small confines of the kitchenette in hurried steps. She was petite, alright, but that was endearing. Adorable even. Yet he was pretty sure she could hardly reach the top cabinets unless she actually climbed onto the bottom ones. It must be quite a sight, surely.

“Kim?” Her voice floated into his mind and he came to, with a startle, realising that he was most probably gawking at her in a manner that he really shouldn’t. Sung Gyu cleared his throat and turned away. “Anything would be fine”

“Right” Hyerim nodded. “Then Scotch it is”

She grabbed a couple of glasses and poured a packet of peanuts into a dish, all of which she quietly placed on the table in front of him. Then she opened one of the top cupboards, stared up at it with squinted eyes and let out a sigh.

“There you are”

“Hm?” Sung Gyu glanced at her with a handful of peanuts in mouth, only to see her, just as he imagined, struggling to reach the top shelf where the bottle of scotch was. God knows how she put it up there, as she barely ever reached the bottom shelf of the cupboard let alone the top one. And for the first time in his presence, she wasn’t begging for his help. Sung Gyu found himself gazing at her, fascinated; at her small built, her elegantly pale legs, her hand stretched out and face screwed in determination. It quite was truly a sight. He felt light headed, staring at her. It must have been the effects of a long troublesome day, but he soon found himself contemplating the benefits of lifting her off her feet and setting her up on the kitchen cabinet. As soon as the image appeared in his mind, one that really, really shouldn’t have; Sung Gyu quickly climbed up on his feet and approached her. Not to put into action what he’d had in his mental image, of course. It was only because he needed himself to stop doing that; imagining her in situations that he really shouldn’t.

“Oh um” Hyerim visibly gulped upon seeing him and gazed up at him almost dazedly. Sung Gyu took hold of the bottle, and he did the mistake of looking at her himself. Their gazes locked; and suddenly, it was impossible to look away.

For all the five years of their acquaintanceship as neighbours, this had to be the first time that they were in such a close proximity, and he realised, he’d never properly seen Jung Hyerim. He’d never properly looked at her. As he did now, so close, so real; Sung Gyu saw all the many detail that he’d missed out on all this time. There was a distinct shape to her eyes. They were wide, like a dear’s, and seemed to carry this effervescent shine that he found quite mesmerizing. Her lips, bow-shaped and curvy, were almost enticing. Under the dim white light of the kitchen, Sung Gyu caught the sight of how her cheeks flushed pastel pink. She was beautiful.

“Did you find it?” She asked him, a small husky whisper, and his heart started to do funny things. He gulped hard, slowly bringing down the bottle.

“Yeah” He replied.

“Good” Hyerim nodded. “Now let me through”

It was only then that he realised just how close the two of them were standing, almost pressing onto each other. Embarrassed, Sung Gyu brusquely moved away from her, carrying the bottle of scotch with him. The moment so much as evaporated between them, and they were pretty much themselves again. Sung Gyu opened the bottle and Hyerim poured in glass-fulls for both of them. As she did, she was talking to him.

“This is a lot serious than I thought it was, honestly. The fact that there is actually someone after you...” Hyerim shook her head and glanced up at him. “Any idea who it could be?”

Sung Gyu, with his eyes fixed on the golden liquid in his glass, slowly shook his head. “I thought they were only after some documents”

“Could be” Hyerim sighed. “But this whole...intrusion is suspicious. Like, how did they know where you lived? how did they know your passcode? And everything’s been so well executed that not a single trace is left”

“How about the CCTV footage?” Sung Gyu asked.

“The cameras are fucked up down the whole corridor. No other camera show their footage. So, we assume they took the fire exit.

“No cameras in the fire exit?”

Hyerim shook her head. “They’ve been fucked up a long time ago and nobody ever really fixed them”

Sung Gyu groaned. “What about black boxes, eye witnesses, anything?”

Hyerim shook her head.

Sung Gyu gave it a moment of thought and then glanced back up at her. “So, does this mean my life is under threat?”

Hyerim mulled it over herself and tilted her head thoughtfully. “Not per se... I mean, they’re probably not after your life, they must be after your position”

Sung Gyu rolled his eyes. What’s so special about his position anyway? It wasn’t like he earned enough to live in absolute luxury, or that he was happy or that he had hundreds of other people running errands behalf of him. Sung Gyu was doing his job. It was his occupation; he was a public representative like any other person in his shoes would be. The only difference was that he was slightly younger than a majority of them. How did that make him an important target?

Unless, of course, he had been a part of some secret scheme.

“Say, Kim” Hyerim’s voice floated into his mind, interrupting his thoughts. She was gazing up at him, her bright doe eyes so sincere, the glass of scotch held elegantly in her slender hand. “This...whole special treatment thing. Is that true?”

Sung Gyu stared back at Hyerim, mouth agape. Sung Gyu had always known Hyerim to be blunt with her words. That’s one of the reasons why he despised her; because he, more than anything, hated to face the truth. That’s how he’d always lived; masked behind a life he’d never wanted, seeking for validation. Criticisms, opinions, anyone seeing anything negative in him completely isolated from his life. And Jung Hyerim always saw right through him. The worst part about that was that she never hesitated to voice out what she’d see.

He wondered if it was the right time to admit it, that he didn’t remember anything. He could have been involved in it, or he couldn’t have. He might have even been in that discussion, he might have even voiced his opinion. The problem was, he just didn’t know.

“What’s the recording like?” Sung Gyu asked in return, dodging her question himself.

Hyerim blinked. “Don’t answer my question with a question, Kim”

“Don’t you avoid my questions yourself” Sung Gyu returned.

For some reason, this made her smile. Hyerim smiled; a small, soft curve slowly painting her lips, like sunrise. It was strange, how her whole face seemed to lighten up. For a moment, all Sung Gyu could do was stare at her, mesmerized. When she looked back at him, however, he quickly turned away.

Hyerim cleared her throat. “Fine” She said. “I can’t say much, but its pretty nasty. It could go huge if the media let it out, because the defendant in question was arrested under work-place sexual harassment. So obviously the company would try to defend themselves, and so it would go back the worst on the Judges involved”

As Hyerim continued explaining, Sung Gyu’s mind began to capture what resonated the most and swept through his memories, searching for a moment that he could associate with everything that she said. He tried to place conglomerate in his mind, and there were just plenty of them. He tried to narrow it down to work-place harassment, but there were just too many as he’d worked with civil cases. He put in the keywords ‘Conglomerate’ and ‘Workplace harassment’ together and tried to delve into his mind; but nothing. It was as if all the memories that he’d stored behind from his days as a judge had been wiped away.

“I want to listen to it” Sung Gyu demanded in the end. Hyerim looked over at him and nodded her head. “Well of course. We’re still reinvestigating it for possibilities of fabrication. I think we’d be able to get hold of it by tomorrow”

Sung Gyu nodded, stared at his clenched hands for a moment and took a deep breath. He knew that Hyerim trusted him, even blindly so, for the lack of things that she actually knew about him comparing to everything that she didn’t. Hyerim knew him, but that just made an iota of what Kim Sung Gyu actually was. She just didn’t know him enough.

But still, it was comforting, in that moment, to be blindly trusted and cared for. So, he went for the kill.

“Jung”

“Hm?”

“Did you listen to it?”

There was a moment of silence, and then she shrugged. She fucking did.

“Did you hear my voice?”

Another moment of silence as Sung Gyu only watched her. She grew uncomfortable, hesitant to look in his eyes as she muttered; “We’re yet to recognize the voices involved-,”

Sung Gyu straightened up in his chair, exasperated.

“Did you hear my voice, Jung?” He asked again, this time a little more sternly but his voice came rougher than he expected it to.

Hyerim slowly nodded her head.

The world began to spin around him and Sung Gyu buried his face in his palms. The thing was, he could never tell. He could never be too sure about what he did so many years ago, he could never be sure about whom he’d been involved with. Sung Gyu was a conformist, alright. But he might also despise it when someone would see a single silver of a flaw in him. That obsession of him to appear flawless in anyone’s eye could lead him to do the unthinkable; to run for an election for a position he didn’t want to have, to ask for the hand of a woman he didn’t love. He could never be too sure what he could have done so many years ago. But Hyerim, Hyerim who knew him a tad too much, he could trust more than himself.

“I hate it that I can tell your voice just about anywhere” Hyerim muttered, her voice so small, apologetic, and when he looked at her, she was still refusing to meet his eyes. Hyerim who just blindly trusted him too much, who thought she knew Kim Sung Gyu inside out. For that moment, he felt almost sorry for her. He wasn’t sure why Hyerim thought so much about him, but what she’d admitted to him so far appeared to insinuate everything that she probably couldn’t put into words. He felt sorry for her, just because she didn’t know him enough.

There was an obvious sound of a sob, and he couldn’t help but gawk at her, almost empathically. Hyerim never broke down, she almost never did. She might be small and feminine and sometimes undeniably beautiful; but breaking apart was just not Jung Hyerim. He felt a little twist inside him, knowing that there was someone, just one person in his entire world who didn’t think he was an asshole, who had even a tiny bit of trust on him, who broke down for him. It was a comfort, when the whole world would rather watch him fall.

Hyerim had her head lowered, almost as if she was about to break into tears. Sung gyu wanted to reach out and comfort her; but then suddenly, she took that complete-opposite turn right before his eyes. She straightened up, raised her head high and let out a long breath. “Well I...I am sure there is some explanation” She said, looked over at Sung Gyu and she smiled. “Something would turn up. I’m pretty sure...the investigations are still under way”

Sung Gyu was gawking at her all through this, and he was duly surprised. A part of her probably knew that she couldn’t trust him. Hyerim was perceptive. Nothing missed her superior deductions. A part of her probably saw right through him and probably knew what he truly was behind that mask. But the other part of her hated to accept it, what she was seeing in him. She wanted to maintain the image of Sung Gyu that she’d perceived of him the very first time.

“Jung...do you trust me that much?” Sung Gyu raised his brows at her. If she really did, then that’s what required a real explanation.

“I have no reason not to” She replied, not meeting his eyes.

Sung Gyu scoffed, rolling his eyes. That confirmed it; she was either not right in her mind, or she just didn’t know him enough. He didn’t want to believe the latter was the case; because when he thought a bout it, the woman who knew his grocery list by heart, how could she not know? Hyerim did know, she knew him like an open book. She refused to admit to herself, of everything. And the reason why would always be beyond him.

“Anyway, scotch?” Hyerim held out the glass bottle in front of him and Sung Gyu glanced at her and smiled. At least he had someone by his side. It wasn’t anything to complain about.

“Thank you” He said, she poured each other a glass full and they toasted for a better ending, completely oblivious of what waited for them ahead in their time.


	3. Chapter 3

There were two things, absolutely two things that Kim Sung Gyu regretted the most in his life. One, he regretted that he decided to go to law school. He should have gone for music or literature or traditional studies; anything that wouldn’t have fucked up his life. He knew that he regretted it when he first stepped into law school and dunked head first into a world that he felt was a maze. He couldn’t fit in, he wasn’t a part of it. His hopes and dreams couldn’t fit in the gaps and spaces that law college had to offer; but it was too late for him to turn away. By then, Sung Gyu had already confirmed the rightful path of his future endeavours, and that arouse expectations; so many of them to fulfil.  

The second thing that he regretted so much was this. Somewhere in the thirty-six years of his life, he met a woman that he thought he loved. But when warning signals started to strike all around him, telling him that it was time to walk away from her, he decided against it, went ahead and married her.

Sung Gyu met Song Yeri for the very first time in a ball room; clad in expensive cashmere and million stars in her eyes. When she first saw him and smiled at him across the room, past all the unsuspecting patrons, he first thought the entire world blurred around him. She was that beautiful, Song Yeri. Her hair was a dark shimmering water fall down her back, and when he buried his face in it as he held her, she reminded him of the sweet summer breeze. Her skin was soft and porcelain, her lips the shade of roses, gentle against his own when he first kissed her. She was beautiful, surreal even. She was like a dream.

Barely three months into their relationship, however, Sung Gyu realised that she indeed was a dream, that he’d loved an image of her he’d created in his mind while Song Yeri, in reality, was nothing close to the woman he desired.

He shouldn’t have married her. He knew this even as he waited at the end of the aisle, staring at the carpeted path before him. He felt his life crumbling apart as he took her hand that day and felt himself being trapped in a world he despised when they moved in together. Sung Gyu didn’t love her, and Song Yeri too, probably didn’t love him back. The whole reason why she married him would always be beyond him. And the whole reason why he married her, however, would haunt him for the rest of his life.

 

Sung Gyu slept in Hyerim’s couch that night; and he had a vague memory of her walking into the living room to check on him, then he had drifted away. He woke up upon the sweet and enticing aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafting around, with Hyerim talking on the phone in hushed whispers, already dressed for work. He sat up with a groan, his head paining. For one, he had a terrible hang over which he had to carry back home; and his limbs pained like he’d been folded into a confined box for too long.

“You up?” Hyerim called from the kitchen and waved at him when she met his eyes. She looked bright and fresh and kind of cute in casual attire. It must be a pain to be working even in the weekends, but she looked like she was having the time of her life. Sung Gyu couldn’t even imagine himself doing that let alone actually going to work on a sunny Saturday morning.

“Can I go home?” He croaked out, opening one eye and his hand in his messy tuft of hair.

“I suppose you can. I had my team do a round again in your flat, we’re clean”

“Good” Sung Gyu groaned in response.

“Coffee, Kim?”

“No” He replied, blindly searching for his belonging in the mess. “Can’t find my things”

It took a moment for Hyerim to emerge from the doorway and hand over to him his coat and his phone which was just lying on the sofa next to him. Momo came running from the direction of the kitchen upon hearing his voice, purring loudly in affection, and Sung Gyu gathered everything he belonged in his arms.

“See you then” he mumbled, feeling oddly saddened by the thought of leaving her. For some reason, he felt comfort in the presence of her. He didn’t feel alone. He dreaded having to sit in his flat all by himself, the cat hardly being his company. He dreaded having to listen to his own thoughts. Having no choice however, he dragged himself back home.

Upon opening the door to his own flat after a night of a fiasco, however, Sung Gyu never expected to hear the sound of his ex-wife’s voice. His initial reaction was to stand frozen in the moment, dread creeping underneath his skin. The one thing even more dreadful than his own solidarity was having to sit in the same room as Song Yeri.

“Sung Gyu? Is that you?” Came her voice from the direction of his room. He got out of his shoes and let Momo wriggle out of his arms. Yeri could be a real pain in the neck, sometimes. The two of them separated a couple of months ago, but that didn’t stop her from nosing into his business on a regular basis. She wanted to know his whereabouts, what he’d been doing, where he was, and the worse thing was that he’d almost always end up telling her things and just about giving into it every time, just so that he could get it done with.

Yeri emerged from the doorway as beautiful as ever, and it was then that he realised that he never really told anyone about the whole frame-up thing, not even to his parents nor sister let alone his ex-wife. He looked around in mild panic, trying his best to not let his worry show. Thankfully the police had cleaned everything and put them in place, the things that were flipped and thrown about, and everything else looked much like his own doing. For the first time ever, he felt so thankful for Hyerim. It was as if she almost knew this would happen.

“Hey” Yeri greeted him sweetly and Sung Gyu greeted back with a small wave. It was how things went between them. They greeted each other like old friends and tolerated each other as long as they could. Then either one of them would piss off the other; they’d fight, she’d cry and scream and tell him that he ruined her life, and he’d call a taxi and transport her back home. There’d been a few occasions which ended up with them having angry sex with no emotions involved, then he’d pack her home the next morning. The routine was almost the same every time.

“Where were you?” She asked, folding her arms on her chest, her gaze friendly, friendly but unreal. She was, as always, interrogating him.

“I was over at a friend’s” He shrugged. “What are you doing here?”

“Just” she tilted her head, looking away. “To see how you were and stuff”

“Uh, I’m good, thanks” Sung Gyu muttered and moved past her into the house.

The thing about Yeri was that she never came home with the sole purpose of seeing him. She didn’t want to see him. She didn’t even want him, she had plenty of men who wanted her, so she’d rather have that than hanging after her dreaded ex-husband. Whenever she visited him, Sung Gyu knew she had an ulterior motive underneath her sleeve. Sometimes its money, sometimes it’s a favour. In some odd occasions, her latest boy toy had left her, and she needed someone to bed with, and Sung Gyu would just compile to get it over with.

If it was a normal situation, he wouldn’t have minded her there. They’d be quiet and tolerant until one of them got pissed; so, the first halves of her visit usually went by with them walking around like ghosts. But today, Sung Gyu was a nervous wreck. He was in a crisis, and he was expecting for the police or his guards or whoever to walk in any moment now. He had to get her out of here.

He went into his bedroom and got rid of his jacket and his tie, threw them on his bed and let out a sigh. He was tired of having people pushing him around. It was bad enough that he got himself into this, why did they have to fuck with him over and over again?

“Yeri?” he called as he stepped out of the bedroom, this time determined to get her out of the house. She was in the hallway, trying to get Momo’s attention, to get her to play with her. But Momo, as always, ignored her advances.

“Yeri” Sung Gyu tried again.

“Hm?” Yeri climbed back up on her feet and gazed up at him.

“Is there anything you wanted to talk about?” Sung Gyu inquired, going straight for the kill. He had no time nor the patience to deal with her right now, and even the thought of having her hanging around in his house was agitating him.

“Well, I do” She smiled this tight-lipped smile. “Glad you asked”

 

Back in Sung Gyu’s small kitchenette, he asked Yeri to take a seat as he carelessly went through the content of his fridge. He hadn’t filled up on his grocery, so most things were stale thus he hadn’t anything to offer her. Thankfully she settled for a glass of water, but he had to scavenge for his own breakfast.  In the end he decided he might as well grab a brunch after a good sleep, then decided to get over with the weight at hand.

“Right” He sighed, sitting down in front of her. “What is it”

“Well...” Yeri started. She had this strangely elegant way of telling things which was peculiar but also quite enticing. She could keep one engaged, she could keep them held down to the ground until all they could see, hear and absorb was her. At that moment, she was doing that to him. She was talking, launched into a long account on her parents and friends and parties and whatnot that made up her universe. But Sung Gyu was at the edge of his patience. He had his palms pressed on his eyes, fingers in his hair, barely tolerating her. But when he realised that he couldn’t do it anymore, he lowered his hands and let out a sigh.

“Yeri, can we stop hitting around the bush please?” Sung Gyu muttered, quietly and almost himself. He was uncomfortable and tired and sleepy. He wanted her to go away.

“Sorry, what was that?” She asked him.

“Just get to the point Yeri” He told her.

“Right, the point” She said, as if it occurred to her only then. There was a long moment of quietness, then, as if she was trying to put her words in place. “Right” she repeated to herself, climbed up on her feet and exited the kitchenette. She returned a few minutes later, a thick manila file in her hands.

“What’s that?” He inquired.

“You’ll see” She said, sat down and pulled out a thick sheaf of papers. Then as he watched her, patient and quiet, she slowly laid the papers in front of him. It took a while to adjust his mind to concentrate on it, and then he realised.

Although he and Yeri lived separately, they were still married in the papers. As much as Sung Gyu desired to go ahead with the divorce at that time, his situation didn’t allow them to. It was in the same time of the election that they realised they were not fit for each other; but to be eligible for his position, he needed to be married, so divorce wasn’t an option for him. He didn’t have to ask her twice; Sung Gyu only had to plant the idea in her mind. They lived separately, Yeri lived her own life as she pleased with all her lies and pretence. They attended dinners and parties together, Sung Gyu carried her to the events like a trophy wife. She liked it, she admitted to him herself. She liked the idea of showing him off to the others, hence making her shine, just as much as Sung Gyu didn’t mind showing her off. And so, the need to go forth with a divorce never arouse.

Until now.

“Why now?” Sung Gyu sighed, mindlessly flipping through the papers.

“Why not now?” Yeri hit back in response. She moved forward urgently, her gaze set on him. “We’ve put it back for too long, Sung Gyu. I can’t do this anymore”

“But I thought we had an agreement on this” Sung Gyu replied. The thing was, under the circumstances, he couldn’t take a risk. He was still quite new to his position, and although there were more than enough politicians with divorces and remarriages, he still had to keep his reputation clean. The crisis was liable to tarnish his image any moment now, and a divorce would be indeed hay to the fire.

“You said that was until the election is over” Yeri pushed on. “It’s been ages since the election, it’s the right time that we do this”

“But-!” He started, held himself back and took a deep breath. The worst thing was that she had a valid point. There was no other reason why, in her eyes, to keep this hanging. Their marriage, for both of them was like being chained to a place they didn’t want to be. Yeri probably needed to be freed from him. It was a miracle that she complied even this long.

But on the other hand, the crisis. How worse could this make things for him?

“Yeri” He sighed once he regained his composure. “I know we’ve been....” He trailed off, lifted his head and looked straight at her. “Can we do this another time? Give it a few more days?”

“No” She said without a second thought. “We did this longer than enough”

Sung Gyu groaned, his hand pressed onto his forehead and he felt cold prickle on his skin. Why did people want to fuck with him just around the same time? He was pretty sure his head was about to explode.

“Why, Yeri, why now and why so fast?” He asked exasperatedly. She could wait, at least a week, a month; he wouldn’t care. He wouldn’t care if he had to tolerate her unwarranted visits whenever she pleased or going to events with her or giving in to her whenever she wanted sex. He wouldn’t mind all that as long as he could have this until the crisis died down.

“Because...” She started, followed by a moment of silence and Sung Gyu lifted his head to meet her eyes. They stared at each other for the longest time; and strangely, Sung Gyu thought, for a flash of a moment, that he saw the Yeri he once loved in the depth of her eyes. “Because I’m seeing someone, Sung Gyu” She finally admitted.

“And?” He said only for the lack of things to say. He wasn’t surprised. She was seeing a different person just about every other day.

“He asked me to marry him, and I want to marry him too”

At that, something uncomfortable slowly settled in his stomach. She wanted to get away from him because she wanted to marry someone else, and she wanted to marry someone else because he didn’t want him anymore. This whole time, though Sung Gyu didn’t admit it himself, he found it quite a comfort to know that she wanted him still, even the slightest, regardless of him wanting her. She’d come numerous times asking for help and for money and to drag him off to one of her parties of the other, to pretend to be the love of her life. Numerous times she’d come home, drunk and miserable and crying to herself after being messed up by her then-boyfriend; numerous timed he’d taken her in, and he let her come to bed with him. Even the long insufferable arguments, the excruciating moments of silence, the mindless happiness he got when she came over and he realised she probably still wanted him; they all made him disgustingly happy. And to know that it will be all gone from this moment onwards.

Well, as it occurred to him now, it wasn’t only his position that held her back. It was his ugly, insatiable desire for her, his fear to be left alone, to be without her.

“...And we’ve been through this million-times now, Sung Gyu, this is getting out of hand” Yeri was saying even as he stared at her, feeling all out of place. So, this is going to be his life now. People leaving him, people fucking him over, his career falling apart, his parents being disappointed, him being utterly alone in his world. It was going to be his life now.

And Sung Gyu couldn’t even contemplate it any longer. The more he resisted her, the longer she stayed. He wanted to get out of here, he wanted his peace. And the only way to do that was getting things done with.

“Right” He said, finally coming to. “Where do I need to sign?”

Yeri stopped mid-account and stared at him. “So you’re going to do it?”

Sung Gyu raised his brows. “Do I have a choice?”

Yeri shrugged. “Don’t you want to like, read through it or something?”

“Any property that you’re going to claim?” He asked her. That’s easier than going through the pain of actually reading it.

“Nothing except for my parents trust fund”

“Right” Sung Gyu nodded. Yeri received a huge lump of money from her parents when they married; it was her trust fund. They didn’t have to spend much from it, except for this once when they leased the flat, but that Sung Gyu slowly paid off during their time of separation.

Sung Gyu went ahead and signed in every paper, every space and every line he was required to sign. They’d be meeting their lawyer soon and go ahead with the procedure. Once it was all done, Yeri stood up, gathered her papers and slipped them back into the manila folder.

“So, this is it?” Sung Gyu muttered before he could stop himself. He felt surreal. He was finally letting go of a weight that’s been holding him down, but the parting pained more than he expected it would. After all, she used to be a woman that he loved.

“This is it” Yeri sighed. They were quiet and hesitant for a moment, staring at each other, their past a quiet connection between them, slowly flittering away. Finally, Yeri stepped towards him and pulled him into a hug.

“It wasn’t that bad” She mumbled, her head on his chest and the scent of her hair in his breath. She still smelled the same; classy and expensive. Sung Gyu put his arms around her.

“It wasn’t good either” He replied.

“I might miss you”

“Okay” He sighed, and she pulled away. “Will you come to the wedding?”

Sung Gyu screwed his face. “I doubt”

“Okay...okay” Yeri nodded in return, slowly stepping away from him. “Well, take care of yourself...and all”

“Yeah you too”

And soon, he was left behind in his house as he watched her exiting the front door of their used-to-be home for one last time.

 

The entire morning and the early part of that afternoon, Sung Gyu slept through his new-found painful solidarity. He was startled awake then and there by the sound of voices echoing in his empty vast home, only to realise that the voices were in his head. At one point, he’d drowsily walked to the kitchen to fill Momo’s feeder, and ended up falling asleep in his couch. Then he had a dream; a dream of himself, in this couch, with his limbs dangling over the edges. A faceless woman walked towards him and placed a lingering hand on his shoulder. He vaguely remembered himself comforting up to her, like a cat begging for affection. Then he heard a voice in his ear; so familiar yet ever so far away. ‘I hate it that I can tell your voice just about anywhere’

A shrill ringing echoed in his mind afterwards. The woman vanished, and he was on his own again. Only except that his phone was ringing on the floor.

He didn’t get that many calls on his personal phone, and his office phone he had deliberately left in the drawer of his office table. He hadn’t expected for the police to have gotten hold of his personal number as well. But then it occurred to him that he was a criminal on the lookout.

Sung Gyu picked his phone after letting it ring for far too long, and Hyerim’s stern and professional voice echoed from the other end.

“Kim. We have the recordings”

The recordings. The crisis. Cold sweats began to form on his skin. “Right” He gulped. “Do you want me to come over?”

“We’ve already contacted your secretary and she said she’d send your guards on your way”

Sung Gyu groaned under his breath and planted a hand on his face. He could have driven himself there. It was Saturday, he wasn’t even working. The last thing he wanted right now was having his guards pestering around and looking surreptitiously at him like he was a fucking criminal.

But he supposed he hadn’t a choice there as well.

“Okay...fine” he sighed. “Where will I be coming to?”

“The police”

The police. He was going to the fucking police. Where in his life did he go so terribly wrong to end up going to the police? His parents weren’t going to be so impressed.

“So my driver is coming to drive me to the police” He clarified.

“Get yourself here, Kim” said Hyerim, stern and dismissive, and when the line went dead after that point, Sung Gyu realised that he most definitely had no choice.


	4. Chapter 4

A few hours later, Sung Gyu found himself half concentrating on Hyerim as she walked hurriedly alongside him, explaining...something. He wasn’t sure what, as his mind was so preoccupied with so many things. He was wondering what his jail sentence was going to be, he was wondering if he’d have to leave his job for good. And how would the media react? What would the world say upon seeing the country’s youngest politician’s face plastered in every single TV screen, now not as the youngest politician but an actual, blackmarked criminal?

As they walked along, Sung Gyu’s two guards right behind him, he caught a few words then and there vaguely passing over his head. Once again, he caught and absorbed the most relevant bits. ‘Four voices. ‘...Unrecognised’, a name of a company he vaguely remembered but couldn’t connect to anything he knew and remembered.

“Just one wiretap, just 45 minutes” Hyerim said with emphasis as they finally reached a double-doored room. Sung Gyu gazed at her for a moment and blinked. So that was what it was all about? Just a single measly recording of forty-five minutes? That’s what’s about to ruin his life?

He was soon led into an interrogation room, and he felt prickles underneath his skin. Not once in his life had he ever imagined stepping into one. He hated the mediation room, he even hated the court where he worked for a good half of his career. And interrogation rooms. As he was led into a stiff wooden chair which looked horrifying even at glance, he realised, his life indeed has come to a standstill. Or it was over.

The two of his guards stood at either sides of him and he had to fight his urge to get rid of them. Hyerim, now almost unrecognisable as she’d switched her personalities, pulled out a laptop computer, fussed with some papers as she muttered something to herself, then finally gazed up at him.

“So, are you ready to have a listen?”

Sung Gyu didn’t think he’d ever be ready for that. But it was now or never, and he wanted it now.

He sat straight and laid his clasped hands on the table before him. “Yes. Yes, I am” He said.

 

There were four voices in total. As the recording played in the quietness of the room, he listened intently, and it took him a while to adjust his mind. It was difficult in the beginning to make a sense out of it. He only heard a vague set of voices in harsh s, a few words and phrases which made only subtle sense for him. It was subtle at first. But slowly, the truth dawned in his mind. Snippets of memories flashed past him; a locked mediation room, himself, his presiding judge and two other faces that he could barely make out. He closed his eyes, his hands trembling, his world spinning around him. The faces, the voices, that day about five years ago.

It hadn’t been a trick of his mind. It wasn’t even a false memory that he would have wanted to convince himself with. It was real. He remembered this day, these people, this person who put his life on the line. At first his voice was just small, inaudible even, putting in his opinion in the form of a yes or a no when the others wanted to know what he thought. It was fine, he thought. At least he wasn’t showing any direct involvement.

And then, his presiding judge asked him in his thick authoritative tone; “Judge Kim. Even if the sentence is reduced, the chances are that his position in the executive board would be terminated. Would that be feasible?”

There was a moment of silence, in the mediation room as well as the interrogation room all those years later. Sung Gyu stared at the back of the laptop computer, his heart pounding. What would himself from five years ago say? What foolish decision would he make which would ruin his life five years later?

There was a distinct sound of himself clearing his throat, followed by his voice. “My connections...believe that all charges need to be dropped”

Sung Gyu clenched his hand until his knuckles turned white, his eyes closed shut as if he could block out the rest of it from his mind. Connections, all charges dropped. Connections? What bloody connections did he have?

The recording paused and Sung Gyu glanced up to see Hyerim gazing at him, her eyes full of concern. “Do you want me to stop, Sir?”

He took a second to catch his breath, then vigorously shook his head. He wanted to hear more, know more otherwise this mystery would never have answers. “Please...continue”

The sound of the four voices filled the quietness of the room again. Then it was a whole lot of law related discussions, on how long the period of service was going to be and his plausible prison sentence and whatnot which he barely paid attention to. Then once again, the presiding judge addressed him.

“What do you think about dropping all the charges, Judge Kim? After all, this is sexual harassment. If it wasn’t handled correctly there would be a massive uproar”

There was silence once more and Sung Gyu could almost remember what he said. He was angry and frustrated that he had to be dragged into it. Just as always, Sung Gyu only wanted to get away from it, so he did what he could, what the moment allowed him to.

“There isn’t enough proof to show that it happened, so its his words against hers”

He could almost recite that one line himself, and he could remember why he’d said that as well. Now it was all coming back to him, as if the floodgates had been opened. The case was related to Belle-Vie cosmetics, a large cosmetics brand which was owned by a Lady-CEO who’s name he’d somehow forgotten. The CEO was an old and treasured friend of Yeri’s parents, and her mother had approached him sometime in that summer, telling him that she’d already met and discussed the proceedings with the presiding judge of the case. It wasn’t even in his department, he wasn’t even directly involved in the discussions. But somehow, he had to be, as his mother in law had wanted him to be and constantly checked if he was ‘Looking into it’. And that’s what he was doing. He was looking into it and acting as the messenger for both sides, just for the sake of doing it, just for the sake of being on the good side.

He never imagined that it would come back to him and attack him right in the face. He should have known, even back then, that nothing good came out of doing favours for others. They would come and stab right back at him in the most unexpected moment possible.

The forty five minutes passed and the recording ended; the room soon falling into utter silence. There weren’t many occasions in the recording where Sung Gyu was directly involved in the discussion, but it was more than evident that he was somehow a part of it. And considering the position that he was in, the entire situation was rather precarious. A secretive informant. It was working in his mind the whole time. A secretive informant and the case was almost entirely related to his wife, his ex-wife whom he filed divorce with just that morning.

It didn’t take long before he started making connections. His ex-wife, her parents, his position in the society and what they were capable of doing to him. The sheer complexity of the problem was driving him crazy, and to think that...

Was he right to think that Yeri and her parents had anything to with it? For the past year that they’d been separated, he’d neglected her, walked away from her, shown her his dissatisfaction of having her in his life more often than not. More than anyone, he was aware of what he’d been doing to her. But she’d tolerated. She kept coming back to him, and he’d thought she’d been fine with it. But what if, this whole time, she was making plans to screw him over and avenge for what happened to her?

His heart pounded and head began to hurt at the very thought of her. He knew there was something shifty behind her smile, behind her gaze and her attention to even the tiniest detail of him. Even in that morning she might have acted as if she didn’t give two pence; but underneath it all, she knew that he was lying, she knew that he was faking behind a terrible hang over. She knew it all. Worse of all was that she knew it for a fact that his position in the legislation was on the line.

“So what happens now is, we’re looking into the said informants who had released the tape. And until we have a lead, the tape and everything else will remain confidential” Hyerim was telling him urgently, her voice small and distant in his ears. He glanced up at him in a distracted daze and gazed at her for a long time. He wanted answers, he wanted her to give him answers. He didn’t care who the informant was, if he was to be honest. He just wanted to know jut how fucked his life was going to be, and if he would ever have someone saving him from what nightmare this whole thing was going to be.

“Okay” He nodded and gulped hard. He stared at her for a moment then, questions floating listlessly around him. Then he picked one right off his head and asked her; “What’s going to happen to me?”

Hyerim contemplated for a moment and shook her head. “For the moment, nothing. We’re investigating the cosmetics company, the employees who were involved as well as the other judges involved. Until we have enough evidence, nothing else would happen”

Sung gyu nodded. “If you have enough evidence?”

Hyerim shrugged. “The case will be prosecuted”

“Which case?” He asked her.

“The case where the executive member of the cosmetics company was given a wrong and biased judgement”

Sung Gyu pursed his lips and nodded. Right. That’s what they were going to do. And it would cause an uproar, it certainly would. Then the recordings would be out in the open, somehow, and his identity in the entire issue would be revealed. Then all he’d be left with would be sitting back and watching as his life went down the drain.

Then on the other hand there would be his parents, his sister and everyone who looked up to him and believed in him eventually leaving him behind to fend for himself on his own. Sung Gyu didn’t want to imagine the rest of his plausible reality. He didn’t want to see where that would take him. He’d read and seen enough about politicians who’d been tangled up in storms of scandals, and none of them had actually ended up well. The last time somebody’s wiretapped conversations were released in the media, someone involved tried to kill themselves.

“Mister Kim?” Hyerim’s voice sounded mildly in the room, and he looked up to meet her same warm and concerned gaze. It was strange really, how he was beginning to see her differently. NIS would never have been so lenient towards a politician in a scandal. They’d never even try to look at things in the offender's perspective. He might not be entirely responsible here, but the social norm was never the same. Sung Gyu felt a tinge of inexplicable respect towards her. She might have always been the bothersome, unwanted presence in his life for a time longer than he imagined, but still, at times that he really wanted her, she was there.

“Mister Kim” She tried again, and he came to upon the louder tone of her voice.

“Yes” He replied.

“Well, just to make matters clear, investigations are under way as to whom the informants could be. As there was also an attack in your personal home, there would be a NIS guard at your disposal all time around. Would that be fine with you?”

Sung Gyu blinked. “Other than my security?”

“Your security will not be at your disposal at all circumstances, I believe?”

“So, there will be someone guarding me at home too” He clarified.

“That’s the plan” She nodded.

“Who is it going to be?”

Hyerim stared at him for a moment too long, and he stared back at her, waiting for her to respond. It took her a while, but slowly that small mischievous curve of her lips appeared. She didn’t reply to his question; not in a way that pleased him at least. But he felt as if he already knew what her answer was going to be.

 

That afternoon, Sung Gyu didn’t go back to his flat. He couldn’t, because just as he stepped out of the NIS office after the meeting, he got a call in his private phone, and he did the mistake of distractedly picking it up. It was his mother. They were in the town. And they wanted him to see them at his sister’s place.

If he was to be completely honest, he didn’t have the best relationship with his father and his mother. His father was small yet quiet and intimidating; a trait he supposed he had inherited from his father himself. He was a perfectionist, and for this reason, somehow, Sung Gyu’s father could easily detect a flaw in another. He had eyes of a hawk, and he could trace back to the very beginning upon seeing a single shift in Sung Gyu’s life. He supposed that’s what made his father a good, respectable judge, what made him a good citizen of the society. That’s exactly what which would make him a terrible politician as well. Worse of all, however was that it was never easy to be under the constant judgement of his eyes.

Both of his parents, just like himself prior to rebelling and moving out, resided in the central city of Jeonju. His father was a county judge who was later appointed the city Mayor and held the position for as long as five years. His mother herself was a notable person in the city council; and under their influence, his sister engaged in politics rather diligently, who was later appointed a council member as well.

Sung Gyu, from the very beginning, was the runt of the family. He’d heard that in every litter of kittens, there was the runt; the weak one, the one who was neglected, unloved and left to die on its own. That was what Sung Gyu was ever since he tried to make different choices in his life. He didn’t want to be like his entire family. Not another council member, not another mayor, and no-god forbid-not another judge. He hated their lifestyle, he hated being so...dull and lifeless and indifferent. And that attempt of his to make a difference in his life pushed him away from his family. He started being the stupid one, the one who didn’t try hard, think enough, who just didn’t understand. “Be like your sister” He’d been told million times. “Don’t disappoint your father” just as many times, the same. At the end of it all, his parents created a different person, a monster. And Sung Gyu just didn’t know who he was or what he wanted to be; not anymore.

“Sung Gyu” Called his sister just as she opened the door into her apartment. She lived in Seoul now, as she left her job in the council upon her pregnancy. She was married to a prosecutor, and he earned just about enough for the family, so for the moment, his sister stayed at home with her children. He was sort of glad that it took that turn. Had she made yet another milestone in her life, the hurdles that Sung Gyu had to cross would be higher.

“Noona” He sighed and tried to take a glance over her shoulder. “Are mum and dad inside?”

“Yeah, they’ve been waiting” She told him, opening the door wider, allowing him inside.

“You look off” Jieun-his sister-commented as took off his court and his shoes. Jieun, just like his father, was quite attentive. He wasn’t surprised that it was the first thing she noticed upon his arrival.

“I’m fine” He groaned and walked past her into her home. Jieun’s place was nice, warm and minimalistic. Since her two children were still very young, the floors were almost always littered with toys and carpets with food stains. It smelled of baby talc and detergent, and to walk into the living area he always had to dodge a few pieces of Lego littered about. In that warm and homey atmosphere, seated in the beat-up sofa set, his parents just looked out of place.

“Mum, Dad” He greeted the either of them, and his mother walked over to him and kissed him on his cheek. Sung Gyu could tolerate his mother actually. She also had her flaws and quirks, but she still had a motherly side to her and treated him like he actually mattered.

“Sung Gyu, you’ve lost so much weight” She said, a hand resting gently on a side of his face. He tried to smile, which he was sure came out wrong. “Been busy with work” He excused himself. The truth was, however, Sung Gyu was not here for small talk. He didn’t do small talks, he didn’t do pleasantries anymore. He wanted to get to straight to the point of any conversation and be done with it.

“So what brought you here?” he asked them; blunt and no pleasantries. His parents looked at one another as his sister shifted uncomfortably in her chair. His mother met his gaze as he lowered himself into a sofa seat, her face expressionless and dull, just like she’d always been. “Well, Yeri spoke to me this afternoon”

Yeri. Song Yeri; and the divorce. With all the qualms that was happening around him, it had almost skipped his mind. He closed his eyes and lowered his head. Perhaps, one of the reasons why he’d always been pushing back the divorce despite their reasons was this. His parents. They were both too conservative for their own good and Sung Gyu’s blatantly failing marriage had always been their biggest concern. His mother told him once that sometimes marriage was always about tolerating one another. He didn’t want to tolerate one another. He wanted it to end. But he also knew that the fate of their marriage would only end up disappointing his parents once all over again, and he hated that. He hated having to be the one always disappointing them. Not that he particularly cared about them being disappointed, because that’s their own bloody problem finding fault in everything that he did. It was only that, after all he’d do, they would still end up making him feel like shit about himself.

“So is it true? Did you two really file divorce?” His mother prodded on.

“She wanted it” He muttered in response.

“But you two could have discussed it further, you could have done something about it, surely? Come down to a better arrangement?”

“He’s too much a coward for that” Put in his father, cutting off his mother. Sung Gyu’s father had been quiet for the most part but Sung Gyu knew what that quietness meant. He hated it that all he had to tell him was how badly he thought of him. Sung Gyu grew up constantly being told what to do or say; and him stepping over the boundaries that they’d set for him would always be perceived as wrong. They believed that he was not capable of commitment, just because he dated left and right; they never understood that he was only searching for the one he felt compatible with. The moment he felt too comfortable with Yeri, his parents started talking behind his back and insinuating that it was yet another relationship of his that would end up terribly. “Sung Gyu’s scared of commitment” his mother happened to tell Yeri herself and Sung Gyu could still remember the way Yeri looked at him, a quiet inquiry in her eyes. The only reason why he ended up actually marrying her was to prove it to her, to them, to everyone that it wasn’t him who was afraid of commitment, it was just how everyone perceived him. In the end, it was him who fell into a place that he didn’t want to be in. Yet, at the end of it all, he’s still at fault.

It’s just so hard to please people, and he wanted to stop doing that. But the thing was that on the other hand, he didn’t want to appear a failure either.

But a failure was what he’d always been in his father’s eyes. It was sort of like Sung Gyu’s father was a mad scientist with Sung Gyu being his constantly failing experiment. He would never admit to the fact that it was him who ruined him for the most part; never giving him enough love and affection, treating him like trash. Rather, Sung Gyu’s father liked to think that Sung Gyu ruined things for himself. Sung Gyu wasn’t even going to try. He’d tried; myriad times. But now he was too old and too tired to argue and fight for himself. He let him call him a coward. He let him treat him like shit. Then he’d go home and smoke a cigarette and curse his father under his breath.

“What happens now?” His mother prodded on, ignoring his father’s comment. His mother always ignored his father’s comments. And sometimes she claimed that he acted like that because he was developing dementia.

“I don’t know” He replied sincerely. He really didn’t know himself. For one, it puts him in a terrible position; with work as well as emotionally. It wasn’t like Yeri provided him any solid emotional support. But she was there, just there, and that, sometimes was enough for him. Now he had nobody at all.

“What about work?” went on his mother as if she’d read his mind.

“What government ministry would want a divorcee in their offices?” His father, once again, put in resentfully. “Do you have any idea how one’s personal life could affect their political agenda?”

Sung Gyu remained quiet. He knew that there was no basis of truth behind this. People compartmentalised their lives in this day and age. Besides there are enough divorcees playing powerful roles in politics. It was not his part to explain this to his conservative old-school father. He better educate himself.

“I don’t suppose his work would be affected” his sister finally stepped into rescue. “Besides, if they were unhappy, who are we to say anything?”

Sung Gyu felt thankful to her, thankful but only slightly, because he knew that his sister hardly meant well. She wanted to be the good and the perfect child in everything. It just gave her brownie points.

His mother let out a soundly sigh. “How are you feeling Sung Gyu? You could have talked to us”

He felt like total shit. Not that he could admit that to anyone of them. “I’m fine” He lied. Then he looked around the room, at his parents gazing blankly at him. “Is that the whole reason why you came here?”

His mother sighed again, like he was at fault for everything. “Your sister’s been telling me that you weren’t visiting her. And you hardly ever call us. We were only meaning to see you. And then this happened”

“I’m fine mum” He groaned.

“We really hope you were” His mother went on monotonously. “But it feels like you’re distancing from us, further and further”

Sung Gyu looked up at he with a shard gaze. “That’s hardly my fault”

“You should talk to us at least” went on his mother, staring into a corner as if she barely heard him. “You should call and see how your parents are doing, like any son would”

Sung Gyu knew what all this was about. It had never been about him. They’d start with that, if he was fine, if he was doing well; but that was only for the sake of asking him while what it truly meant was that he was neglecting his parents after all they’ve done to raise him, on and on until he felt even worse about himself. His mother had this strange idea that the sole purpose of children was to look after their elderly parents and carry along their family line. Like in the days of the kings, he had to say. What about him, then? He wanted to ask them. If all his parents were going to do for him was seeing his faults and criticising him every time he turned, who was going to be there for him when he needed it? Who was going to call him and ask him if he was fine?

Not his family, as it happened.

“I’ve been busy, okay?” He returned harsher than he intended to. He was tired really, tired of having to deal with them, tired of having to deal with life, of living. “Mum, if this is why you wanted me to come all the way here, you really shouldn’t have done that. This is not doing either of us any good” Sung Gyu told her as bluntly as he could. At a time like this, he had to preserve himself. And to do that, he had to eliminate as many as negative forces around him; as of this moment, the strongest was them, his family.

“Sung Gyu!” His sister called him out and Sung Gyu threw at her his same cold glare. “You too, you should have known better”

“Is that how you talk to your mother?” Bellowed his father, and at this point, Sung Gyu realised it was his cue to leave. There was no point trying to make them understand; and this was his life which was going into ruins. No matter how hard he tried, his parents will always be disappointed, his sister will always strive to make him look bad, and he would always be in the middle of their shit storm, tired and lost. All he could do at that point was gather himself and leave; self-preservation at its best.

“For god’s sake, I’m leaving” He informed them and stormed out of the room.

The thing was, he sort of liked coming to his noona’s home. He liked it because when she was not being the centre of attention, she was actually kind of nice, and he loved her children. He loved them the most. He loved carrying them around and letting her daughter play hair-dresser on his head. He loved singing her son to sleep when she wasn’t watching and loved to gaze at him as he drifted away, wondering what Sung Gyu’s own life could have been if things had been different. He had hoped to see her children that afternoon, he had thought they’d help him keep his frustration at bay. And so, when he stormed out of the house and when his sister’s six-year-old daughter returned home the same moment he went for the door, something strong inside him died.

“Samchon?” She called him softly, her doe eyes widened in surprise. She’d let go of her caretaker’s hand, timidly stepping over to him. It’s been months since he last saw her, but every time he did, his heart would inflate with an infinite amount of love for her. “Samchon!” She exclaimed, this time, a little louder and she launched at him. Sung Gyu felt heavy in his heart. He couldn’t stay. He had to leave. But the little girl was surely going to hold him back.

“Sweetheart” He started, crouching down before her. Sung Gyu had never been particularly fond of children; that was of course until he met Yooah, and everything changed. “I can’t stay today” He told her apologetically.

Yooah puffed her cheeks in response. “But I just got home...”

Sung Gyu’s sister’s voice came from behind him, and Sung Gyu climbed up on his feet, ready to go. “I’ll visit again, soon”

“Do you promise?” Yooah asked him, her small stubby hand held out, fingers folded for a promise.

Sung Gyu glanced behind him, at his sister who watched their exchange, her expressionThere were two things, absolutely two things that Kim Sung Gyu regretted the most in his life. One, he regretted that he decided to go to law school. He should have gone for music or literature or traditional studies; anything that wouldn’t have fucked up his life. He knew that he regretted it when he first stepped into law school and dunked head first into a world that he felt was a maze. He couldn’t fit in, he wasn’t a part of it. His hopes and dreams couldn’t fit in the gaps and spaces that law college had to offer; but it was too late for him to turn away. By then, Sung Gyu had already confirmed the rightful path of his future endeavours, and that arouse expectations; so many of them to fulfil.   The second thing that he regretted so much was this. Somewhere in the thirty-six years of his life, he met a woman that he thought he loved. But when warning signals started to strike all around him, telling him that it was time to walk away from her, he decided against it, went ahead and married her. Sung Gyu met Song Yeri for the very first time in a ball room; clad in expensive cashmere and million stars in her eyes. When she first saw him and smiled at him across the room, past all the unsuspecting patrons, he first thought the entire world blurred around him. She was that beautiful, Song Yeri. Her hair was a dark shimmering water fall down her back, and when he buried his face in it as he held her, she reminded him of the sweet summer breeze. Her skin was soft and porcelain, her lips the shade of roses, gentle against his own when he first kissed her. She was beautiful, surreal even. She was like a dream. Barely three months into their relationship, however, Sung Gyu realised that she indeed was a dream, that he’d loved an image of her he’d created in his mind while Song Yeri, in reality, was nothing close to the woman he desired. He shouldn’t have married her. He knew this even as he waited at the end of the aisle, staring at the carpeted path before him. He felt his life crumbling apart as he took her hand that day and felt himself being trapped in a world he despised when they moved in together. Sung Gyu didn’t love her, and Song Yeri too, probably didn’t love him back. The whole reason why she married him would always be beyond him. And the whole reason why he married her, however, would haunt him for the rest of his life. Sung Gyu slept in Hyerim’s couch that night; and he had a vague memory of her walking into the living room to check on him, then he had drifted away. He woke up upon the sweet and enticing aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafting around, with Hyerim talking on the phone in hushed whispers, already dressed for work. He sat up with a groan, his head paining. For one, he had a terrible hang over which he had to carry back home; and his limbs pained like he’d been folded into a confined box for too long. “You up?” Hyerim called from the kitchen and waved at him when she met his eyes. She looked bright and fresh and kind of cute in casual attire. It must be a pain to be working even in the weekends, but she looked like she was having the time of her life. Sung Gyu couldn’t even imagine himself doing that let alone actually going to work on a sunny Saturday morning. “Can I go home?” He croaked out, opening one eye and his hand in his messy tuft of hair. “I suppose you can. I had my team do a round again in your flat, we’re clean” “Good” Sung Gyu groaned in response. “Coffee, Kim?” “No” He replied, blindly searching for his belonging in the mess. “Can’t find my things” It took a moment for Hyerim to emerge from the doorway and hand over to him his coat and his phone which was just lying on the sofa next to him. Momo came running from the direction of the kitchen upon hearing his voice, purring loudly in affection, and Sung Gyu gathered everything he belonged in his arms. “See you then” he mumbled, feeling oddly saddened by the thought of leaving her. For some reason, he felt comfort in the presence of her. He didn’t feel alone. He dreaded having to sit in his flat all by himself, the cat hardly being his company. He dreaded having to listen to his own thoughts. Having no choice however, he dragged himself back home. Upon opening the door to his own flat after a night of a fiasco, however, Sung Gyu never expected to hear the sound of his ex-wife’s voice. His initial reaction was to stand frozen in the moment, dread creeping underneath his skin. The one thing even more dreadful than his own solidarity was having to sit in the same room as Song Yeri. “Sung Gyu? Is that you?” Came her voice from the direction of his room. He got out of his shoes and let Momo wriggle out of his arms. Yeri could be a real pain in the neck, sometimes. The two of them separated a couple of months ago, but that didn’t stop her from nosing into his business on a regular basis. She wanted to know his whereabouts, what he’d been doing, where he was, and the worse thing was that he’d almost always end up telling her things and just about giving into it every time, just so that he could get it done with. Yeri emerged from the doorway as beautiful as ever, and it was then that he realised that he never really told anyone about the whole frame-up thing, not even to his parents nor sister let alone his ex-wife. He looked around in mild panic, trying his best to not let his worry show. Thankfully the police had cleaned everything and put them in place, the things that were flipped and thrown about, and everything else looked much like his own doing. For the first time ever, he felt so thankful for Hyerim. It was as if she almost knew this would happen. “Hey” Yeri greeted him sweetly and Sung Gyu greeted back with a small wave. It was how things went between them. They greeted each other like old friends and tolerated each other as long as they could. Then either one of them would piss off the other; they’d fight, she’d cry and scream and tell him that he ruined her life, and he’d call a taxi and transport her back home. There’d been a few occasions which ended up with them having angry sex with no emotions involved, then he’d pack her home the next morning. The routine was almost the same every time. “Where were you?” She asked, folding her arms on her chest, her gaze friendly, friendly but unreal. She was, as always, interrogating him. “I was over at a friend’s” He shrugged. “What are you doing here?” “Just” she tilted her head, looking away. “To see how you were and stuff” “Uh, I’m good, thanks” Sung Gyu muttered and moved past her into the house. The thing about Yeri was that she never came home with the sole purpose of seeing him. She didn’t want to see him. She didn’t even want him, she had plenty of men who wanted her, so she’d rather have that than hanging after her dreaded ex-husband. Whenever she visited him, Sung Gyu knew she had an ulterior motive underneath her sleeve. Sometimes its money, sometimes it’s a favour. In some odd occasions, her latest boy toy had left her, and she needed someone to bed with, and Sung Gyu would just compile to get it over with. If it was a normal situation, he wouldn’t have minded her there. They’d be quiet and tolerant until one of them got pissed; so, the first halves of her visit usually went by with them walking around like ghosts. But today, Sung Gyu was a nervous wreck. He was in a crisis, and he was expecting for the police or his guards or whoever to walk in any moment now. He had to get her out of here. He went into his bedroom and got rid of his jacket and his tie, threw them on his bed and let out a sigh. He was tired of having people pushing him around. It was bad enough that he got himself into this, why did they have to fuck with him over and over again? “Yeri?” he called as he stepped out of the bedroom, this time determined to get her out of the house. She was in the hallway, trying to get Momo’s attention, to get her to play with her. But Momo, as always, ignored her advances. “Yeri” Sung Gyu tried again. “Hm?” Yeri climbed back up on her feet and gazed up at him. “Is there anything you wanted to talk about?” Sung Gyu inquired, going straight for the kill. He had no time nor the patience to deal with her right now, and even the thought of having her hanging around in his house was agitating him. “Well, I do” She smiled this tight-lipped smile. “Glad you asked” Back in Sung Gyu’s small kitchenette, he asked Yeri to take a seat as he carelessly went through the content of his fridge. He hadn’t filled up on his grocery, so most things were stale thus he hadn’t anything to offer her. Thankfully she settled for a glass of water, but he had to scavenge for his own breakfast.  In the end he decided he might as well grab a brunch after a good sleep, then decided to get over with the weight at hand. “Right” He sighed, sitting down in front of her. “What is it” “Well...” Yeri started. She had this strangely elegant way of telling things which was peculiar but also quite enticing. She could keep one engaged, she could keep them held down to the ground until all they could see, hear and absorb was her. At that moment, she was doing that to him. She was talking, launched into a long account on her parents and friends and parties and whatnot that made up her universe. But Sung Gyu was at the edge of his patience. He had his palms pressed on his eyes, fingers in his hair, barely tolerating her. But when he realised that he couldn’t do it anymore, he lowered his hands and let out a sigh. “Yeri, can we stop hitting around the bush please?” Sung Gyu muttered, quietly and almost himself. He was uncomfortable and tired and sleepy. He wanted her to go away. “Sorry, what was that?” She asked him. “Just get to the point Yeri” He told her. “Right, the point” She said, as if it occurred to her only then. There was a long moment of quietness, then, as if she was trying to put her words in place. “Right” she repeated to herself, climbed up on her feet and exited the kitchenette. She returned a few minutes later, a thick manila file in her hands. “What’s that?” He inquired. “You’ll see” She said, sat down and pulled out a thick sheaf of papers. Then as he watched her, patient and quiet, she slowly laid the papers in front of him. It took a while to adjust his mind to concentrate on it, and then he realised. Although he and Yeri lived separately, they were still married in the papers. As much as Sung Gyu desired to go ahead with the divorce at that time, his situation didn’t allow them to. It was in the same time of the election that they realised they were not fit for each other; but to be eligible for his position, he needed to be married, so divorce wasn’t an option for him. He didn’t have to ask her twice; Sung Gyu only had to plant the idea in her mind. They lived separately, Yeri lived her own life as she pleased with all her lies and pretence. They attended dinners and parties together, Sung Gyu carried her to the events like a trophy wife. She liked it, she admitted to him herself. She liked the idea of showing him off to the others, hence making her shine, just as much as Sung Gyu didn’t mind showing her off. And so, the need to go forth with a divorce never arouse. Until now. “Why now?” Sung Gyu sighed, mindlessly flipping through the papers. “Why not now?” Yeri hit back in response. She moved forward urgently, her gaze set on him. “We’ve put it back for too long, Sung Gyu. I can’t do this anymore” “But I thought we had an agreement on this” Sung Gyu replied. The thing was, under the circumstances, he couldn’t take a risk. He was still quite new to his position, and although there were more than enough politicians with divorces and remarriages, he still had to keep his reputation clean. The crisis was liable to tarnish his image any moment now, and a divorce would be indeed hay to the fire. “You said that was until the election is over” Yeri pushed on. “It’s been ages since the election, it’s the right time that we do this” “But-!” He started, held himself back and took a deep breath. The worst thing was that she had a valid point. There was no other reason why, in her eyes, to keep this hanging. Their marriage, for both of them was like being chained to a place they didn’t want to be. Yeri probably needed to be freed from him. It was a miracle that she complied even this long. But on the other hand, the crisis. How worse could this make things for him? “Yeri” He sighed once he regained his composure. “I know we’ve been....” He trailed off, lifted his head and looked straight at her. “Can we do this another time? Give it a few more days?” “No” She said without a second thought. “We did this longer than enough” Sung Gyu groaned, his hand pressed onto his forehead and he felt cold prickle on his skin. Why did people want to fuck with him just around the same time? He was pretty sure his head was about to explode. “Why, Yeri, why now and why so fast?” He asked exasperatedly. She could wait, at least a week, a month; he wouldn’t care. He wouldn’t care if he had to tolerate her unwarranted visits whenever she pleased or going to events with her or giving in to her whenever she wanted sex. He wouldn’t mind all that as long as he could have this until the crisis died down. “Because...” She started, followed by a moment of silence and Sung Gyu lifted his head to meet her eyes. They stared at each other for the longest time; and strangely, Sung Gyu thought, for a flash of a moment, that he saw the Yeri he once loved in the depth of her eyes. “Because I’m seeing someone, Sung Gyu” She finally admitted. “And?” He said only for the lack of things to say. He wasn’t surprised. She was seeing a different person just about every other day. “He asked me to marry him, and I want to marry him too” At that, something uncomfortable slowly settled in his stomach. She wanted to get away from him because she wanted to marry someone else, and she wanted to marry someone else because he didn’t want him anymore. This whole time, though Sung Gyu didn’t admit it himself, he found it quite a comfort to know that she wanted him still, even the slightest, regardless of him wanting her. She’d come numerous times asking for help and for money and to drag him off to one of her parties of the other, to pretend to be the love of her life. Numerous times she’d come home, drunk and miserable and crying to herself after being messed up by her then-boyfriend; numerous timed he’d taken her in, and he let her come to bed with him. Even the long insufferable arguments, the excruciating moments of silence, the mindless happiness he got when she came over and he realised she probably still wanted him; they all made him disgustingly happy. And to know that it will be all gone from this moment onwards. Well, as it occurred to him now, it wasn’t only his position that held her back. It was his ugly, insatiable desire for her, his fear to be left alone, to be without her. “...And we’ve been through this million-times now, Sung Gyu, this is getting out of hand” Yeri was saying even as he stared at her, feeling all out of place. So, this is going to be his life now. People leaving him, people fucking him over, his career falling apart, his parents being disappointed, him being utterly alone in his world. It was going to be his life now. And Sung Gyu couldn’t even contemplate it any longer. The more he resisted her, the longer she stayed. He wanted to get out of here, he wanted his peace. And the only way to do that was getting things done with. “Right” He said, finally coming to. “Where do I need to sign?” Yeri stopped mid-account and stared at him. “So you’re going to do it?” Sung Gyu raised his brows. “Do I have a choice?” Yeri shrugged. “Don’t you want to like, read through it or something?” “Any property that you’re going to claim?” He asked her. That’s easier than going through the pain of actually reading it. “Nothing except for my parents trust fund” “Right” Sung Gyu nodded. Yeri received a huge lump of money from her parents when they married; it was her trust fund. They didn’t have to spend much from it, except for this once when they leased the flat, but that Sung Gyu slowly paid off during their time of separation. Sung Gyu went ahead and signed in every paper, every space and every line he was required to sign. They’d be meeting their lawyer soon and go ahead with the procedure. Once it was all done, Yeri stood up, gathered her papers and slipped them back into the manila folder. “So, this is it?” Sung Gyu muttered before he could stop himself. He felt surreal. He was finally letting go of a weight that’s been holding him down, but the parting pained more than he expected it would. After all, she used to be a woman that he loved. “This is it” Yeri sighed. They were quiet and hesitant for a moment, staring at each other, their past a quiet connection between them, slowly flittering away. Finally, Yeri stepped towards him and pulled him into a hug. “It wasn’t that bad” She mumbled, her head on his chest and the scent of her hair in his breath. She still smelled the same; classy and expensive. Sung Gyu put his arms around her. “It wasn’t good either” He replied. “I might miss you” “Okay” He sighed, and she pulled away. “Will you come to the wedding?” Sung Gyu screwed his face. “I doubt” “Okay...okay” Yeri nodded in return, slowly stepping away from him. “Well, take care of yourself...and all” “Yeah you too” And soon, he was left behind in his house as he watched her exiting the front door of their used-to-be home for one last time. The entire morning and the early part of that afternoon, Sung Gyu slept through his new-found painful solidarity. He was startled awake then and there by the sound of voices echoing in his empty vast home, only to realise that the voices were in his head. At one point, he’d drowsily walked to the kitchen to fill Momo’s feeder, and ended up falling asleep in his couch. Then he had a dream; a dream of himself, in this couch, with his limbs dangling over the edges. A faceless woman walked towards him and placed a lingering hand on his shoulder. He vaguely remembered himself comforting up to her, like a cat begging for affection. Then he heard a voice in his ear; so familiar yet ever so far away. ‘I hate it that I can tell your voice just about anywhere’ A shrill ringing echoed in his mind afterwards. The woman vanished, and he was on his own again. Only except that his phone was ringing on the floor. He didn’t get that many calls on his personal phone, and his office phone he had deliberately left in the drawer of his office table. He hadn’t expected for the police to have gotten hold of his personal number as well. But then it occurred to him that he was a criminal on the lookout. Sung Gyu picked his phone after letting it ring for far too long, and Hyerim’s stern and professional voice echoed from the other end. “Kim. We have the recordings” The recordings. The crisis. Cold sweats began to form on his skin. “Right” He gulped. “Do you want me to come over?” “We’ve already contacted your secretary and she said she’d send your guards on your way” Sung Gyu groaned under his breath and planted a hand on his face. He could have driven himself there. It was Saturday, he wasn’t even working. The last thing he wanted right now was having his guards pestering around and looking surreptitiously at him like he was a fucking criminal. But he supposed he hadn’t a choice there as well. “Okay...fine” he sighed. “Where will I be coming to?” “The police” The police. He was going to the fucking police. Where in his life did he go so terribly wrong to end up going to the police? His parents weren’t going to be so impressed. “So my driver is coming to drive me to the police” He clarified. “Get yourself here, Kim” said Hyerim, stern and dismissive, and when the line went dead after that point, Sung Gyu realised that he most definitely had no choice. cold and indifferent. Then he turned back to her child. “I promise you” He muttered, slipped his pinkie finger around the tiny one of hers and pressed their thumbs together. “I promise you”


	5. Chapter 5

Kim Sung Gyu didn’t always smoke, but when he did, he’d pick up a box of Marlboro from his stash and head straight up to the rooftop to pretend to be somebody else. He hated smoking, he hated how it made him feel so unlike himself. He didn’t smoke too often; he did, only when he couldn’t hold himself together anymore, with hopes that the nicotine would kill him sooner.

That evening, he stood against the balmy summer wind as the sun descended slowly in the western horizon; his eyes closed, his hands grasping the railing and his favourite music playing in his ears. He had never admitted this to anyone himself before; but Sung Gyu had always secretly wanted to be a musician. He believed in what he was good at, and singing had always been one of his best tropes. He’d seen and experienced the sense of freedom that music could possibly give him, a freedom almost too dangerous to pursue. If he had a chance to turn back and make different choices in life, that’s what he would have been. Not a judge, not a politician, not a bloody pushover who’d do anything to get away from a difficult situation, and most importantly, not someone who’d get involved in some secret judge’s meeting to bail a jerk out of jail.

Sung Gyu still had his eyes closed, yet he took a long burning breath of his cigarette and held hit against the railing, deep in thought. He let out a white cloud through his nostrils, he focused solely on the burning sensation inside him. He was so engrossed in the moment that he didn’t even notice that he had company.

All of a sudden, one of his ears was unplugged and Jung Hyerim stood beside him, the wire of his ear-phone dangling in one hand, and a Chupa-Chups in the other. “That’s a terrible way to die” She said, reached over and snatched the cigarette from his hand. Then she wordlessly tossed it down the building.

“What the fuck?” Was Sung Gyu’s initial reaction, not so pleased to have her there with him. Sung Gyu was trying to pull himself together; he needed to recharge before he could deal with the rest of his mess of a life. Entertaining Jung Hyerim had never been in his agenda.

“Wait” She continued, undeterred by his not-so-welcoming response. She unwrapped the lollipop and offered it to him like a trophy. “Here you go”

Sung Gyu glanced at the lollipop, then at the girl who held it, a small smile in her eyes. Jung Hyerim had smiling eyes. He wasn’t sure how it was possible to smile with just eyes and not lips, all until he met her. “What do you want?” He groaned at her, not taking up her offer.

Hyerim tutted disappointedly, reached for his hand and placed the candy between his fingers. “You’re the youngest in the legislation; too important to die young”

“Tsk” Sung Gyu rolled his eyes, smiling sarcastically from a side of his mouth almost naturally. He couldn’t believe the irony of it all, how perfect it all sounded, to be the youngest and yet one of the most prominent roles in the legislation; and yet it was his biggest ongoing nightmare.

“You don’t look very pleasant this evening, Judge Kim, anything I can help with?” Hyerim said in a pretentious formal tone. Sung Gyu met her eyes, caught a glint of mischief in them and he almost smiled. It was strange, Sung Gyu felt himself calming down a little, and the hazy twilight surrounding them, along with the wind gradually getting colder added the whole ambiance a nice touch. Sung Gyu turned back and leaned against the railing, resting his arms upon the iron rails. He had somehow unconsciously put the lolly in his mouth, and the strong burning sensation of the smoke was gradually being overpowered by the citrusy sweetness of the candy. It actually felt nice.

Hyerim turned to gaze out at the horizon, her short-cropped hair flying gracefully in the wind. If he looked at her properly, he would see the sunset reflecting in her autumn doe eyes. Sung Gyu cleared his throat and turned away. “It would help if you told me who my guard would be” Sung Gyu said, recalling their previous conversation from the day.

“Your guard?” Hyerim repeated as if it was unheard of, then tilted her head. “Ah guard...well, that’s going to be me”

Sung Gyu did a double take and almost chocked. “You?”

“Yeah...” Hyerim glanced up at him. “Why, is that a problem?”

“No, but...doesn’t NIS have more people? Why you?” He went on.

“Because its feasible? Ah, I don’t know”

Sung Gyu tried to absorb the new information for a while and tilted his head, perplexed. “But you can’t do that. We are literally neighbours”

“I already told them” She shrugged.

“What?” He turned to her full on, bewildered. Why would Jung Hyerim do that? What was she trying to achieve out of it?

“Not a big deal” She sighed. “I told them I can keep an eye on you”

“Like an eye on when I’d bail out another sex offender?” He raised his brows.

Hyerim was quiet for a moment, then let out a sigh, turning to face him. When Sung Gyu met her eyes, something twisted inside him. She was sincere, and her irises were like mirrors to her emotions, conveying everything that she hardly put into words. “Look. You’re just blowing this out of proportion” She said.

“Me? I’m blowing it out of proportion?” Sung Gyu scoffed. “It’s the last thing I would do, Jung, I’m the one caught up in a shit storm here”

“Listen” she said calmly, placing both her arms on the railing. “This is not going to be about the judgement. You hardly have anything to do with it. Although your words could have influenced in something, it’s the job of the actual judges of the case to pass a proper judgement, which they obviously failed in doing. What we’re focusing now is you. We’re focusing on tracking down the informants before they could possibly leak it to mainstream media. It’s only when that happens that you’d be in a shit storm”

Sung Gyu sighed. “Then what’s is happening now?”

“NIS is trying to keep the shit storm from happening” Hyerim bluntly replied.

Sung Gyu gazed at her for a moment, urging for her to continue; and when she didn’t, he turned around and grasped the railing grimly, popping the lollipop out of his mouth. “I don’t feel so good about it” He said.

“Like I said, we’re trying to find the-,”

“I think Yeri might be involved” Sung Gyu finally admitted, cutting her off. Hyerim fell quiet at that and moved cautiously towards him. “Your wife?”

Hyerim knew who his wife was. Hyerim knew how terribly their marriage was doing. She’d heard them arguing, she’d seen Yeri storm out of their flat after each of their fights. She’d seen them kissing madly against the door and him kicking it close behind them; yet Hyerim hadn’t said a word.

“Ex...wife” Sung Gyu corrected her resentfully, his eyes focused solely on the horizon. “We filed divorce this morning”

“Oh....” Hyerim fell quiet, and then she leaned her back against the railing. Her standing beside him like this, she appeared tiny, and the railing which he could only rest his elbows on, she could lean her head against. Sung Gyu glanced down at her and saw an expression on her face that was just so hard to read. Hyerim had been quiet about his relationship with Yeri all this time; but what had she been thinking about it? How did she feel? What did this silence mean? He stared at her, as if that would give him answers. Instead, she just shrugged and looked up at him, now appearing indifferent.

“Why do you think she might be involved?” Hyerim asked him.

“Well” He put a hand through his hair and met her eyes. “The case...I wasn’t sure in the very beginning until he heard the recording. It’s the one related to the cosmetic’s company-,”

“Belle-Vie” Hyerim added and nodded.

“-Yeah, that” Sung Gyu gulped. “The CEO of that company is a good friend of Yeri’s parents, and it was Yeri’s mother herself who approached the presiding judge responsible for the case. Then she told me to look into it....and I....that’s what I did” He sighed. “I was looking into it”

“So do you think they released the tape to get back to you or something?” Hyerim inquired.

Sung Gyu nodded stiffly in response. “Maybe. I’m not certain myself, but I feel they wanted me to look bad and ruin my reputation to avenge for what happened to her”

There was quietness in Hyerim’s part then and Sung Gyu glanced down at her to find her deep in thought. What was she thinking about? Sung Gyu wished he could delve into her mind at that moment. He wondered if she also thought that he was shit, that he deserved all that happened to him because he neglected a wife who didn’t love him, he stopped caring for a woman who never carried an iota of affection towards him. He wondered if she ever thought what he did could be justified in any possible way.

“Did anything bad happen to her? Something that they can hold against you?” Hyerim asked him then, and he was surprised that he’d been more or less right about what she was thinking.

Did anything happen? Did anything happen really? He couldn’t recall a lot of things, as all that they’ve been doing the past few months was arguing. He’d never raised a hand on her; he never would, that was against his moral principles. And he’d always treated women with respect. He might have said a few cruel things, but that as well, he had never intended to insult her in a wrong way. The two of them fought, they argued; but not in a way that would emotionally scar either of them. But when he thought about their relationship a little in depth, he realised that there was this something, something that she’d definitely hold against him.

“Well, I refused to have children with her” he admitted to her for the first time in his life.

Yeri was really fond of children. Sung Gyu was too, and he’d dreamed million times of having some of his own one day. But with Yeri, he knew that it was simply impossible. They were never ready for parenthood; and a child would have been a lot of responsibility. The two of them had completely different perspectives on child rearing. Sung Gyu thought of it as a blessing; he hadn’t felt so all the time, but ever since his niece and nephew came into his life, Sung Gyu’s outlook on children changed completely. Yeri on the other hand thought of children as some sort of a mechanism which could have magically fixed their derailing marriage. She had told him that it would patch things up, that they might even fall in love with each other again. But what sort of a world was she expecting to bring a child into? To parents who couldn’t tolerate each other? To a house which felt so much like a trap? To a place full off unhappiness and bitterness with the child’s sole purpose being fixing something which was literally never there? Sung Gyu did not want that to happen; and it was the only reason why he thought children was a bad idea. But Yeri, of course, understood his reasons differently, and she’d most certainly hold it against him.

“You don’t like children?” Hyerim’s words floated into his mind, then; and he glanced down at her to find her gazing over the lavender sky. Sung Gyu swallowed thickly, not understanding whether it was a question that she expected an answer to.

“Oh, umm...” He narrowed his eyes at the lavender sky himself, and he felt Hyerim looking up at him. Then she suddenly came to, as if it finally occurred to her.

“Ugh sorry...I didn’t mean to- I mean....” she struggled, her cheeks blushing crimson in a desperate attempt to take back the question.

“That’s fine” He sighed. Sung Gyu wasn’t sure if it was something that he wanted to answer to, so he changed the topic instead. “Well...I can’t think of anything else that she’d hold against me”

Hyerim hummed, and then went quiet for a moment, thoughtfully staring ahead. Sung Gyu doubted if she even heard him, as she seemed to be in some sort of a trance, almost mystified. It took him back to where she was a quiet part of the past five years of his life; where she was the quiet bystander in every crash and fall. He could remember that time when she offered help upon him returning home terribly ill. Sung gyu had a bad case of low blood sugar, and there was a time in his life when it happened more often than not. Yeri wasn’t always around him to help him through that struggle. However, Hyerim was there, frequently visiting him and treating him back to health whenever possible. And then there was that time when he and Yeri finally went on their separate ways and Sung Gyu nearly passed out drunk. Hyerim, despite her small built had managed to usher him home all the way from wherever he’d been in that cold night. After all that, Sung Gyu had never wondered why she tried so much and so hard for him, why she went through so much for him. He’d always thought she did that for everybody. But now that he was thinking abut it, there weren’t many people that she associated with. It was almost always him.

“You’re not going to jail” Hyerim said all of a sudden, her voice strong and determined, and Sung Gyu blinked at her. Only then did he realise that he’d been gazing at her, perhaps in the same transfixed gaze that she’d had as she watched the descending sun.

“What do you mean?” Sung Gyu asked her in return.

Hyerim pursed her lips and lowered her head, looking down at her clenched hands on the railing. “Well, back in the interrogation room, that seemed to be what you were thinking about. That, and about losing your job”

Sung Gyu could swear his heart stopped for a moment. He wanted to ask her how she knew, did she look into his mind? Did she read him right through his eyes? How would she know? Sung Gyu couldn’t bring himself to say a coherent word, however. His heart had stopped, and even as he gazed down at her, he felt strange things inside him, strange, indescribable things, all directed to her.

“If you’re wondering how I know...” Hyerim said slowly, glanced up at him and smiled. When she did, he could swear he saw stars in her eyes. She beamed up at him, and as her stray strands of hair danced slowly around her face, Hyerim was all sorts of beautiful, mesmerizing even. He found himself just staring at her, fighting his strange urge to feel the tangles of her hair.

“Anyway...” She sighed, her brilliant smile slowly morphing into a frown. “Things might not look so great at the moment, but...” She raised a hand and placed it comfortingly on his arm, making him stiffen upon the gesture. She looked up and met his eyes. There was something warm and comforting about her. Something effervescent, something which still felt like home. Sung Gyu felt himself dying a little death inside when she once again gave him a tiniest of a smile.

“You’re not going to jail, Kim. You’re not losing your job. I promise you, I will never let them happen” She finally told him. And when she turned around and traversed across to the door, leaving Sung Gyu behind to his own thoughts, Sung Gyu realised, that all his thoughts were strangely transfixed on her.

 

Sung Gyu hated the media as much as the next person; he could admit to that with confidence. He’d hated that ever since he got into this profession, for all the nasty cruel things that they were capable of. He’d never even imagined that he’d quite possibly be caught up in anything that involved them; and now, as he stood at the verge of getting caught in a media storm, he found himself constantly running away from them.

That Monday morning when he reported to work, what he happened to find in their reception area was his secretary engaged in a hushed conversation with an impeccably dressed young woman. She was in a beige suit, her hair in a perfect chignon and a laptop as well as a bunch of papers in her hand. It was in his closer inspection that he noticed the small recording device in her hand. Sung Gyu stood in the middle of the hallway, his guards standing behind him, and he cleared his throat, grabbing the two ladies’ attention. His secretary greeted him almost robotically; the media woman, however, greeted him with one of her small pretentious smiles. Sung Gyu was glad that he had this uncanny ability to read media people right off the first page.

“Oh, I’m Yoo Minyoung” The girl in beige introduced herself, a hint of satoori in her voice. She had a shifty pair of eyes, he noticed. She had the eyes of someone who could manipulate one’s emotions with nothing so much as a single glance. Sung Gyu wasn’t sure why he was being visited by media, unless of course, something unexpected had happened. He stepped towards her cautiously and acknowledged her with a nod.

“Good to meet you” He said with a pleasant smile. “To what do I owe this pleasure so early in the morning?”

The girl-Minyoung glanced around herself almost in mock fascination and then finally met his eyes. “Well, I’m from The Seoul Report, and I was wondering...well” She halted and gave one of her charming smiles. “It would be such a great honour if we could do an interview with you, sir, the youngest minister in the legislation; a great honour, truly”

“An interview?” Sung Gyu blinked doubtfully. It wasn’t his first time that some dodgy Seoul life magazine had approached him for an interview. He did give twice, and the pieces went great. It wasn’t everyday that someone of his age would hold a high position in the political arena, so the belief was that he was an inspiration for so many others; that he was finally breaking down the barriers and social norms towards age and maturity among politicians. He liked the exposure, if he was to be honest. He sort of liked all that attention. But now it’s been long since he was appointed and the buzz about his position had more or less died down. As per the current circumstances, on the other hand; a magazine wanting an interview seemed to ring warning bells around him.

Sung Gyu broke into a small pretentious chuckle. “Well, that’s quite unexpected, actually. This is a bit sudden, I feel?”

Minyoung laughed as well. “I’m sorry if this does look sudden. But we’ve been meaning to put up this piece for a while...but we didn’t find the right time”

“So, you believe that now is the right time?” Sung Gyu raised his brows.

“Never too late!” Minyoung said cheerfully. “So, will we be able to spare a few minutes? It won’t take that long...”

Sung Gyu didn’t think, given the situation, it’s the right time to speak to anyone representing the mainstream media. The talk was that the informants themselves were related to an unknown media outlet, and that could be anyone. It was only a matter of time until the clips got released to the public by whatever means, and whatever decision he made now could either help him or stand against him at that point. The problem was though, he could never be sure. Media could twist and warp his words, leaving him no space to defend himself. And given that it was media anyway, the chances of things working out in his favour was barely a minimal.

On the other hand, what were the chances of this being the same media outlet as the informant? What was the possibility? He couldn’t question that, surely.

So, he did what he thought was the best.

“Let me think about it first...” He told her, left his secretary to take care of the rest and went straight to his office. Once inside, he headed straight to the bathroom just in case and dialled Hyerim’s number.

Hyerim picked up at the second ring.

“Kim” She greeted him in her usual upbeat tone.

“There’s someone from the Seoul Report here for an interview. Do you think it’s anything suspicious?”

“The Seoul Report, you say...” Hyerim repeated thoughtfully. “What was the reporters name again?”

“Someone called Yoo Minyoung”

“Yoo Minyoung from Seoul Report...” Hyerim muttered thoughtfully and he could hear her muttering the name again with the sound of computer keys in the background. “Is she still there?” She then asked him.

“I don’t know” Sung Gyu sighed. “I left my secretary to take care of it”

“Yoo Minyoung” Hyerim seemed to read out from a screen. “Hmm, she doesn’t look dodgy, but we can never tell...oh wait Seoul Report is the online magazine yeah?”

“No idea” Sung Gyu went.

“It is...well, there’s nothing bad so far with the Seoul report. Kim, what do you think?”

“What do I think?” Sung Gyu reiterated. “I don’t know...” He sighed, traversed his room and peaked past his door, only to find his secretary talking to Minyoung still. “She’s still here”

“I’m looking into her” Hyerim told him distractedly. Sung Gyu returned to his office and fell into his plush chair as the sound of keyboard typing sounded on the other side of the phone. Sung Gyu could hear her breath; even and regular, he heard her humming gently, and he could almost make the mental picture of her in his mind.

“Yoo Minyoung is a new addition to the team...hmm...looks like a desperate attempt to impress...”

“I don’t care really” Sung Gyu ran a hand through his hair. “Should I just get rid of her?”

“This could also work on your favour though” Hyerim went on distractedly. "In case things...turn out for the worst, there would be at least one article coming up with something positive about you, don’t you think?”

Sung Gyu contemplated it for a moment. “How’s the magazine’s reputation?”

“Not entirely sure” Hyerim murmured. “But they do come up on top in the search engines”

Sung Gyu mulled it over, weighing his options. He had a busy day today, packed with meetings and discussions; and if he had to spend half of it trying to fend off a reporter hanging on to him like a leech, he’d hardly get anything done with. On the other hand, if he did the interview, he could either be putting hay to the fire, or benefiting himself if it actually worked in his favour. Two contradictory ideals, really. But when he thought about it, he realised that he hadn’t much to lose anyway. The news would come out the best way or the worst, and it didn’t matter how much hay he put into the fire, it was blazing and burning him anyway. If he did the interview, let it take whatever the turn it would, at least he’d get the reporter off his back; whatever the consequences may be.

“You know, I’d look more into it and get back to you. Meanwhile, don’t do anything. Stall for time” Hyerim told him from the other end. He opened his mouth to respond, agree to her idea. But all before he could get a word past his lips, a knock sounded on his door.

“I’ll get back to you” Sung Gyu said into the phone and stuffed it into his coat pocket, just as his secretary peaked her head through the door.

“Sir”

“Yes?”

“The reporter doesn’t comply. Should we call in the guards?”

“No” Sung Gyu held up a palm and finally climbed on his feet. “Let her in, I’ll do the interview”

The secretary stared at him for a moment, confused perhaps, by his questionable decision. When he raised his brows at her, she nodded and disappeared past the door. It was only then did he realise it; there he was, doing that again. Being a bloody pushover and let the others get their way, only because he needed it to be over.

Sung Gyu knew that he needed to stop doing this. But how? The answer would forever be beyond him.

 

 

Due to a few other engagements that he needed to be involved in, Sung Gyu couldn’t go forth with the interview for a long while. That time showed how dedicated of a reporter that Yoo Minyoung was, as she remained seated in the reception area the entire time, not showing even a hint of disappointment every time he passed by. He had to rush for a meeting with the Chief of the legislation herself, and afterwards a board meeting which took a little too long. He was able to come out only around the time of lunch; and when he checked in the lobby again, she was still there, undeterred and smiling at him as soon as he met her eyes. Sung Gyu had to ignore her for a moment and head back into his office.

“The reporter is still here” He told his secretary, an accusing tone in his voice. He was tired, if he was to be honest. He was hungry and he needed his space. But how could he even head out the office with that girl sitting out there waiting for him?

“She’s not budging, sir” The secretary answered tiredly. “And I let her wait as you said so”

“As I said so” Sung Gyu muttered to himself and sighed. He turned back to the secretary. “What do I have after lunch?”

“A couple of things...” As the secretary listed down the rest of his schedules for the day, his head felt heavier and heavier. There was still no news from Hyerim, and god knows when they could find a lead. His life was only getting more and more complex. In that sense just what could a measly internet magazine do to him? The worst had been already done.

“Fine” Sung Gyu said, tugging at the knot of his tie. “Let her in”

The secretary looked at him doubtfully. “But sir...”

“Do we have another choice?” He returned tiredly.

They could get the guards, alright. They could fend her off. But she’d come back again and again. Reporters were like flies around turds. They kept coming back until they got what they wanted. The worse he could expect was them twisting the word around unless he actually and humbly complied.

“Okay...” The secretary nodded and walked backwards as if she was waiting for him to change his mind. He didn’t. He hadn’t the sheer capacity to. He only returned to his table and fell into his plush chair. He then turned his phone off and stuffed it into the drawer, locking it in case of any interruption and waited.

Yoo Minyoung entered the room a few minutes later. She was small but quite beautiful, he had to say. She greeted him with a smile, and he climbed up on his feet. He’d done a couple of interviews already, so he wasn’t feeling much of tension. What worried him were the consequences. But as it started and as the conversations rolled on, his doubts and worries flittered away.

The questions were the same, boring and nondescript, yet he answered to all of them, kindly and diligently. Ever since he received the position, there was this one thought he’d always had in mind. He was a public representative. He represented the people who brought him to where he was; and for this reason, the impression he gave especially mattered. He could be intimidating and authoritative almost throughout his ordinary life. But whenever needed, he could be charming and humble, he could pretend to be somebody else.

It was somewhere into the interview that a loud commotion interrupted them. It was coming from the general direction of the main hall. He looked out his window, and downstairs he could see a few police cars and some of the patrol policemen walking around. The commotion got closer and closer. The interview halted and Yoo Minyoung stared up at him, almost terrified. Soon, the commotion was even closer; and the doors to his office burst open. Two of his guards entered first, and then, much to his befuddlement, walked in Jung Hyerim, her fellow team mates on tow.

“Judge Kim” She said, glanced over at the reporter and then up at him. He could swear he saw fire in her eyes. “Judge Kim. This is an emergency situation. You need to come with us to the NIS headquarters”

“What’s going on here?” Sung Gyu asked doubtfully. Everything was obvious. There was no emergency situation. But what was he supposed to do? He knew that Hyerim was crazy, spontaneous. And when he met her eyes, he saw her signalling at him. The interview. She’d somehow figured he'd go ahead with it, must have tried to get hold of him, but his phone was off. She'd wanted to interrupt the interview. And for that reason, she had crashed into the Ministry of Legislation.

“Right” He looked at Minyoung and let out a sigh. “I’m afraid we have to stop here”

Yoo Minyoung was probably going to write a piece of this havoc Hyerim created. And perhaps that was what she wanted too. Sung Gyu knew she was going to serve a jail sentence one of these days. And this was probably going to be it.

“Judge Kim, shall we go?” Hyerim interrupted him exasperatedly and Sung Gyu was this close to rolling his eyes at her.

“Alright...I will see you outside” He told her and watched her as she retreated out the door.

Jung Hyerim; one of those days she was going to drive him crazy. He wasn’t sure why she would even do this to herself, willingly putting her entire career in risk. But one of those days, she was going to be locked up in jail for him, and he’d have nothing to do about it.


	6. Chapter 6

Jung Hyerim didn’t end up going to jail, obviously. But she did end up being replaced by a different detective in Sung Gyu’s investigation. Sung Gyu only got to know about her transfer upon arriving at the NIS for yet another round of questioning the next morning. He had expected to find Hyerim, as usual, in the interrogation room. But whom he was greeted by was an unfamiliar young man with hawk like eyes and greasy dark hair, animatedly arguing with Hyerim herself. Hyerim did the introductions; "Woohyun, meet Judge Kim, and Judge Kim, meet Woohyun, he’d be responsible of the investigation today onwards”.

Sung Gyu wasn’t surprised, to say the least. He had expected the worse. Once he arrived at the NIS office the other day after she broke quite a havoc at the legislation office, things didn’t turn out to be very pretty. Hyerim was pissed, Hyerim’s chief was pissed, and worse of all, he was pissed. They had quite an argument, Hyerim called him an idiot for not listening to what she’d told him and also for tossing his phone away, then Sung Gyu happened to ask what her problem was. He supposed that question sort of got to her, that she fell quiet and appeared a bit upset there onwards.

The eventuality of the entire commotion was that he barely dodged a bullet from being interviewed by a reporter who had previously done a controversial piece in a different magazine, which was buried through connection; and of course, the investigator was changed.

“Would you still be my guard?” Sung Gyu asked her as the new investigator-Woohyun disappeared out of year shot. Sung Gyu didn’t really like the new one. He looked sort of shifty, and he didn’t like the way he looked at people, as if everyone else around him was below him.

“Maybe” Hyerim shrugged. She’d been of little words since he told her off the other day. He met her at the super market of their apartment complex last night, and she wasn’t bothering him like she used to. Which was good, in a way. But he sort of missed that too.

“I don’t want that guy guarding me at home” Sung Gyu mumbled honestly. “He looks like...I don’t know, like he’d kick Momo or something”

Hyerim kicked him on the sole of his shoe. “Ssh! Do you want things to get worse than this?”

“It wouldn’t have been like this if you had fucking thought things through” Sung Gyu hissed back at her.

“Don’t make it sound like my fault”

“Well, guess what? It is”

“Any problem, you two?” A third voice interrupted their hushed conversation and Sung Gyu looked up to find that Woohyun had returned to the room and was leaning against the table, observing them with a mug of coffee in hand.

“No” Said Hyerim, pushing back her short-cropped hair. “Well, I’ll be going then”

Woohyun raised his brows at her, and the two men in the room watched her curiously as she made her way to the door. Just as she was about to unlatch the door handle, Woohyun called out to her.

“I thought we were doing this together”

There was a sharp hiss coming from her, and she turned to look at them over her shoulder. Hyerim was blushing in embarrassment, her face turning pink, eyes narrowed as she looked at the either of them. It took everything from Sung Gyu to hold himself from letting out a snort. Jung Hyerim was ridiculous, really. But he was glad that she was not completely suspended from the case, otherwise he wouldn’t know what he would do with himself.

“Sorry about that, Judge Kim” Woohyun addressed him, looking at him with a sharp gaze. “Little miss Jung is just being uncooperative today”

Little miss Jung? Little Miss Jung? Sung Gyu knew that this guy was a bit dodgy all from the beginning. He was getting too comfortable with his for co-workers. Sung Gyu narrowed his eyes at him, observing him closely. Woohyun was small himself. Sung Gyu could probably rest his arm on top of his head. But he seemed to carry himself with too much of pride and appeared to be the epitome of pretentious wit. Sung Gyu didn’t like him from the very first glance.

However, both Hyerim and Woohyun sat on one side of the table and Sung Gyu sat on the other. Sung Gyu tried to catch Hyerim’s eyes, but she seemed to be still mad at him. Woohyun, appearing more relaxed than he probably should, placed an elbow propped up on the table and rested his chin in his hand. “So, shall we start?” He asked them. And they did.

As per Sung Gyu’s suspicion, Hyerim had advised Woohyun to look into Yeri’s side of the situation. The interrogation today was mainly focused on her and Sung Gyu found it incredibly uncomfortable to be talking about sensitive details of his married life, especially with a man who was nothing but a stranger. Hyerim, of course, was quiet and professional throughout the questioning, and Sung Gyu could feel her gaze upon him then and there like a silent beaconing. He hated how aware of her he was, down to every single movement she made. For some reason, he felt that Hyerim was quite sensitive when it came down to Yeri and him. He had thought it was because she’d seen and known Yeri and him a little more than she should; but there always seemed to be a tad bit more than that. And today, as so much of his most intimate details were laid out in the open, he could feel Hyerim’s tension even more intensely than he used to.

“Was there anything that you believe your wife would hold against you?” Woohyun asked, more or less the same question that Hyerim did, the other day. Sung Gyu clenched his hands under the table, and he could feel, more intensely than ever, Hyerim stiffen beside him. He did the mistake of glancing at her; they met each other’s eyes. Hyerim gazed at him, dazed in her own as if she was seeing a different person. Sung Gyu wasn’t sure what was happening at that moment. But his thoughts were transfixed on her. He suddenly didn’t want to talk about it; talk about Yeri or his marriage or everything that he used to be. He wanted to leave everything aside, and just for one moment, be lost in Hyerim’s eyes.

“Judge Kim?”

It was at that moment that he ripped his gaze off her, and Hyerim looked down at her clenched hands.

“Yes? Oh, um...” Sung gyu turned back to Woohyun and let out a heavy sigh. He had already revealed more than enough intimate details about his marriage, and this bit, which Hyerim already knew anyway, could hardly affect him now. “Well, I-I refused to have children...with her”

There was a moment of silence as Woohyun noted it down.

“Any specific reason?” Woohyun prodded on.

“Any specific reason as to why I refused to have children?” Sung Gyu rephrased.

“Yes”

“Well...” He sighed, leaning back in his chair and ran a hand down his face. He wasn’t sure if these were the sort of details that he actually wanted to share with a complete stranger, especially with Hyerim sitting right in front of him. For some reason, Sung Gyu felt reluctant to go into the details in front of her than revealing it to Woohyun who probably felt nothing of it. Sung Gyu didn’t like how Hyerim appeared constantly agitated, how she seemed to get affected by every little thing that he’d been saying for the past hour. He wanted to know her reasons; but he supposed that wasn’t exactly the conversation that he could have in an interrogation.

“Well?”

“Yeri and I had an unhappy marriage” Sung gyu returned in a steady voice. “And her idea of having children was contradicting with mine, just like many of our ideas did. So, the most rational decision was having none at all”

“So why do you think she would hold this against you?”

Sung Gyu shrugged. “She’s pretty unhappy about it”

Woohyun nodded, noted it down himself, and as he did Sung Gyu glanced over at Hyerim once again. He was doing this too often than not, looking at her as if searching for clarification. Clarification for what? He asked himself even as he traced every visible inch of her. He observed the way her eyes changed, lips twisted, and fingers tapped impatiently on the table before him. She was supposed to be engaged in the interrogation. But she wasn’t. She appeared to be in her own world where everything seemed to piss her off.

Woohyun cleared his throat and Sung Gyu glanced over at him only to find him looking back and forth at Hyerim and him, his brows raised. He caught Sung Gyu watching him and seemed to come to.

“Right...Judge Kim. So, you said that this happened as a favour for your mother in law. Do they often ask you for favours?”

“They do. Not very often, per se. But they had the feeling that...”

The interrogation continued, and thereon Sung Gyu tried not to catch a glimpse of Hyerim for the rest of the session. She tried to be more involved in it by contributing with her own input on certain things. It went on for just about another half an hour. Once it was al done, Woohyun gathered his things in his arms and climbed up on his feet. So did Sung Gyu, and they shook each other’s hands.

“Glad to meet you Judge Kim. Looking forward to working with you”

Woohyun’s hands were clammy, like he was a nervous wreck all around the day. But to be as polite and charming as he could, he smiled back at him. The three of them exited the interrogation room together, and outside, two of Sung Gyu’s guards were patiently waiting for him. Woohyun looked at either of them, then at Sung Gyu, his eyes unreadable. “Well I suppose you’d have to come in again. Regardless, whatever the advancements in the investigation, we’d let you know”

“Fine” Sung Gyu nodded and smiled. The three of them made forward down the corridor in silence until they reached a door. Then Woohyun turned to face Hyerim. “Jung, join me for lunch today?”

Sung Gyu raised his head from his phone and narrowed his eyes at the other. Was this guy for real?

Hyerim looked at Sung Gyu, just a second of a glace, and turned back to the other. “Shut up Nam”

Woohyun chuckled, this funny, over the top chuckle with jostling shoulders and all. Then he patted on Hyerim’s arm, waved him goodbye and disappeared past the door. Hyerim watched after him as he went, then let out a heavy sigh. The expression on her face at that point, was unreadable.

“You and Woohyun seem to be pretty close” Sung Gyu commented, muttering under his breath as the two of them traversed the vast corridor. Hyerim wasn’t in the best of her moods; it was the first time in five years that he was seeing her...angry, and it felt so foreign to him that he could hardly believe she actually had that side of her.

“So? What is it to you?” Hyerim hit back without even any hesitation. If it was another time, Sung Gyu figured, she would have even put a little effort to deny that. He was surprised by her straightforwardness.

“Nothing” Sung Gyu shrugged. “So why did you reject his offer?”

“Not any of your business” Hyerim said and started walking faster.

“You’ve been picking at business which aren’t yours as well” Sung Gyu returned as he quickly caught up with her. “He’s weird but he looks like a good guy” He added to further taunt her. He didn’t know why he felt that he should. He didn’t like Woohyun all because he acted like a bloody know-it-all. What made it worse was that he had this way of looking at Hyerim which constantly climbed up his nerves. Then here was Hyerim, making the entire ordeal appear even stranger. And now he wanted to get to the bottom of it.

“Right” Hyerim said dismissively and halted as they reached the main hall. Then the two of them stood facing each other; her, more than a foot below him but a more significant presence than anyone had ever been. He met her eyes. “Look. I pick on your business because its my job” She said.

“I’m talking about things that’s before this came up” Sung Gyu returned challengingly. For some reason, he felt the need to retaliate to every attack she threw on his way, hold her down and see how much she’d fight against his restrains.

“Like what?” She hissed back.

“Like...my life”

At this point, she fell quiet; fire blazing in her eyes. Sung Gyu realised that he’d somehow dragged her to the edge of her patience, and this was the point where she gave up trying. For the first time ever, he was seeing emotions inflicted in the depths of her eyes, emotions he had never before witnessed in her. He was seeing anger, rage passion and so much more that no words existed to explain. And they had him drawn to her, more and more in a way he couldn’t possibly describe. It wasn’t him who was holding her down, now, he was being held down by her, the strength of her gaze, the might in her presence; everything. He was not sure what to feel anymore.

“Sir” A voice interrupted his thoughts, and the moment between them so much as evaporated at that point of time. His face heated up, realising that he’d been lost in his world among an unsuspecting crowd, a place so unfamiliar in a situation that he shouldn’t drive away from.

Sung Gyu looked up to see his secretary who’d been in the lobby for the past hour or so, hurrying her way towards him. “The venue of the meeting with the presidential committee has changed, Sir. We need to go soon”

He was slowly shifting from one world to the other, and Hyerim moved away from him, leaving him behind with the qualms of his life.

“Right. Okay....” He nodded at the Secretary and glanced back one last time at the way that Hyerim disappeared among the crowd. It must be all the weight on his shoulders, it must be all the complexities in his life; whatever it was, its been giving him emotions, completely uncalled for. He felt things he hadn’t felt for a long time in his life; warmth, comfort, passion...all of which were directed on her, Jung Hyerim.

“Sir?”

“Hm?” Sung Gyu looked back at the secretary, and it hit him. “Oh...yes, I’m coming” He said, let out the weight in his heart with a sigh and followed his secretary right after her hurried feet.

 

 

That evening, he had to meet Yeri and her parents to go forth with their divorce proceedings. He hadn’t expected anything quite as fancy; but when they entered Yeri’s parents two storey mansion that evening, he was welcomed warmly by her parents, and her mother was making the maids cook up a storm for him.

“How are you?” Yeri asked him in her soft concerned voice as she led him into her study. Their lawyer, one of his batchmates and close friend by the name of Jang Dong Woo had agreed to meet them in a time convenient for both of them; and he was already there awaiting them.

“Been better” Sung Gyu sighed. Yeri looked expensive and beautiful as ever. And it could have been the tricks in his eyes; but she looked brighter and so much happier than she’d been with him. “Did you talk to Dong Woo?”

“Been talking to him as we waited” Yeri smiled slightly. “He’d been waiting to see you”

Sung Gyu had known Dong Woo longer than he’d known Yeri. They met back in college, and although they were a year apart, they made good friends. Sung Gyu always believed that it was all due to Dong Woo’s kind and bright personality; otherwise Sung Gyu wasn’t one of those people who actually made any friends.

“Hyung” Dong Woo greeted him upon his arrival and folded him into a warm hug. “How are you?”

“Good. You?” Sung Gyu asked him, smiling at him warmly. There has always been something about Dong Woo that has constantly kept him comfortable. He was that one friend of his who’d naturally make him feel like home.

“I’ve been great! Life’s been busy but...”

The two of them chatted for a while and caught up with each other as Yeri’s maids served them with tea and biscuits, the normal routine in her house. As late evening approached, however, Sung Gyu informed his friend that they better go forth with the proceedings, and the atmosphere between them just fell dark. As always, he just needed to get it out of his way. It was getting late already, and he wanted to escape the situation as soon as possible, despite how nice it had been to meet his college mate again.

When it came down to work, Dong Woo transformed into a completely different person. He filled him on the important details with absolute precision, never missing a point, and both Yeri and Sung Gyu followed through, signing where they should, nodding and shaking their heads yes and no. The apartment was Sung Gyu’s, the trust fund was completely back in Yeri’s hands. Sung Gyu would get to keep the cat, of course; and he smiled only a little when Yeri jokingly mentioned that she might visit then and there just to see her. The occasion was light hearted than he expected, and Yeri was happy and cheerful throughout the progression. They signed a final set of papers, stood up and shook their hands in a fervent, a sense of finality falling upon them.

It felt strange, and Sung Gyu tried not to think too much about it. Years back, he had felt Yeri would be a constant in his life. He had loved her in the earliest days, in a manner that he couldn’t imagine his life without her. In the odd days when they’d be alone, he’d held her from her back and lied together in the sofa, the sound of the TV taking over the quiet of his living room and the scent of her hair in his breath. He had felt a sense of belongingness within her. Having lived a life where he never felt like he belonged or fit in, having Yeri in his life felt like a breath of fresh air. Years later, however, now divorced and continuing in different paths, Sung Gyu began to realise how different their lives had truly been. He didn’t belong with her, like he hadn’t belonged with anyone. For one, he’d never fancied the idea of sitting in the same table and having a meal together. His own family hardly ever did that. But with Yeri, in her strange, closed-up family life style, it’s a must to sit in the same table and dine together, even though two of the diners were completely unrelated; one an unrelated lawyer, and the other the man that she just divorced.

It has always been the same in the Song household. It didn’t matter whom they were hosting the dinner for; be it a rival or someone who’d tried to sabotage their family or threatened to kill their entire second generation or, in this case, the man whom their daughter just divorced. Back when they were still married, Yeri used to host a lot of dinner parties of her own and he had, although unwillingly so, tagged along with her; and there was something that she always used to tell him as they laid out the table together. “Anything can be resolved with a nice hearty meal”

Apparently, this didn’t apply to everyone because as it was evident, a single hearty meal they’d shared over the years hadn’t succeeded in patching up their marriage. And now there they were, sharing their final hearty meal together.

Sung Gyu didn’t speak much. That’s how all of these family meals went. Her parents talked to him, asked questions with their eyes still crinkling as if he hadn’t caused years of trauma to their only daughter. He replied to them just briefly, and as always, they seemed to be satisfied with his answers. He was glad that he had Dong Woo with him; otherwise the whole set up would have driven him insane. Sung Gyu tried to talk to Dong Woo then and there and observed as the dishes arrived. As a waiter came and placed tall glasses of wine to accompany each set of plates, Sung Gyu noticed, there was none placed in front of Yeri. Instead, it was just a glass of water. Just a nondescript event, he noted. Nothing special. But it seemed to carry a deep meaning, something that he was simply afraid to wonder, lest it broke his stance.

Somewhere in the conversation, however, Yeri became the center of attention. They all talked about what they were going to do in their life for the long run; Dong Woo said that they were expecting their second, Sung Gyu just shrugged and said nothing, unable to think where his derailed life was now going to lead to. When it came down to Yeri, however, both his mother and she giggled, and Sung Gyu had been married to Yeri for long enough to understand her enough. He could still read her like an open book.

He wasn’t sure what broke his heart the most, knowing that she’d been so careful whenever they went to bed together, accepting his reluctance to have a child, or that she’d let him go just so that she could finally allow her dreams to come true. Sung Gyu knew that she’d always hoped for a child, they’ve had that discussion enough times. But every time it had ended with an argument, and Sung Gyu repeatedly had to make the same and the same point. Having a child was not the right way to fix things. But he hadn’t realised even then that there was nothing that they could do to fix anything. They had died almost before they could realise it. He supposed what hurt the most was that now she had her life sorted out, and all she had to do was chuck him out, like he’d been the only obstacle standing in her way of a well-deserved happy ending.

When they had married, he’d thought his happy ending was her; and he wouldn’t lie, she had often made him feel that way. But for what? Tonight, as his future lied uncertain ahead for him, their past dissolved into oblivion, as if nothing they’d done and said mattered.

Later that night, as he was just about to leave, he realised that he had just one thing that hadn’t been sorted out yet. Chances were that this would be the last time that they met each other, and as of now, he hadn’t nothing to lose from their end anyway. So once they bid Dong Woo goodbye and watched him pull out from the driveway, Sung Gyu buried his hands in his pockets in an attempt to drive the cold away and stared ahead. “Can I have a quick chat?” He asked. He didn’t want to launch into it; given her probable state, it wasn’t right of him to. Yeri nodded, unsmiling. “Let’s walk”

Yeri’s family home was situated in a famous tourist location, a Hanok village which drew a large number of local and foreign tourists, especially during this time of the year. The narrow walking path was aligned with Hanok houses, ordinary and modernised like hers, on the either sides. There were the odd little cafes, a convenience store and graffitied walls which made the area a popular tele-drama location. Late in the night however, the roads were quiet and ghostly, only the perfectly aligned street lights keeping the empty roads in company. But both Sung Gyu and Yeri had found solidarity in the silence of the streets. It wasn’t the first time that they walked these cross roads together, each time the circumstances different. This time, he knew for a fact, would be their last.

Both of them walked on for a quiet moment, Sung Gyu trying to work out how to broach the subject in his mind. He could just tell her that he was being investigated for bailing on inside connections, he could tell her of his suspicions but that he couldn’t possibly pull off without sounding like he suspected her. It was a matter so sensitive that even walking around the bush was difficult without tipping her off the edge. And Sung Gyu had always known Yeri to be the type to take everything personally, even if it was a matter completely unrelated to her. He had to remind himself, he was walking the dangerous waters. But still, he had to know, and he had to tell her before the NIS got hold of her.

“So” Yeri started as if she couldn’t bear to be in his silence for too long. “I gather that you had something to talk about”

When he looked down at her, the street light from above fell upon her gracefully, and he realised, although he hadn’t noticed before, Yeri had really blossomed; like everything in her life became better as soon as she chucked him off her life.

“To tell you, rather” He corrected her, and cleared his throat. He still wasn’t sure how he was going to break it to her. They passed by a familiar place that they’d visited before; it was a nail parlour, one of those odd places that women visited and they had this nice little coffeeshop accompanying them, a dainty cobble path leading to it, flowers blooming on the either sides and potted plants when spring came about. She and Sung Gyu had come here for coffee numerous times before. And once she’d made him take a photo of her, sitting on one of the cold rocks in the minimalistic garden. At the thought of the nail shop, he realised that the best way to go forwards was to launch one thing at a time, like how they women got their nails done. Slowly, delicately, one nail at a time.

“Yeri do you remember that one friend of your mother, the lady who has a cosmetic brand?” He started, slowly, casually as they came to a halt. Yeri sat down on a stone bench, appearing slightly fatigued. Sung Gyu remained standing, afraid of the intimacy that would be brought upon them would they sit together.

Yeri nodded, almost instantly. “Belle-Vie, I remember her”

Sung Gyu nodded and stalled for time by glancing down at his phone. “Well” he started, lifting his head. “It was her, as I remember, that I had to do a particular favour for? One of their executives, wasn’t it?”

“Favour?” Yeri tilted her head. “Not that I recall, really. Why do you ask?”

Sung Gyu almost rolled his eyes in exasperation. Of course, she wouldn’t remember; neither would her mother. It was only until they had their work done, and it didn’t matter who suffered the consequences because it was never going to be them.

“No, just...” He sighed, and as he felt like his legs were about to give away, he sat on the stone bench a couple of feet away and buried his face in his hands. He had done them a favour so many years ago, and at what cost? What had he gained from it anyway? What had anyone gained from it? The ones who asked for the favour couldn’t recall it let alone pay the gratitude, and there he was, watching as his life crumbled apart. It must be so easy for them, all they had to do was just ask and entice him. “Please look into it” her mother had told him over one of their fancy house hold dinners, and despite feeling trapped by his sense of morality and his best judgement, he had to agree. Because Yeri’s world was the only place he did actually fit in, and he had to stay in their good side. He had to stay accepted and loved. He had never realised that there will come a day that none of this would be relevant.

“Are you okay?” Yeri’s feeble voice floated into his mind, and Sung Gyu realised with a start that they were still in the middle of nowhere, just the two of them.

“No” He let out a sigh. She had forgotten, so there’s no way that he was going to be considerate of her. How the hell could anyone forget a favour that they’d asked from someone? Or was this how their social standing worked? “Yeri” He muttered, not bothering to lift his face from his trembling hands. “I’m being investigated for inside corruption at court from eight years ago”

There was quietness from her end, and Sung Gyu was afraid to raise his head as if doing just that would solidify the gravity of the truth. He was under investigation. The very phrase left a sour, repulsive taste in his mouth. He hated to think of it in that way, but no matter how he tried to put it, the words insinuated the same sense; he was a suspect of a crime, something that Yeri probably had never imagined her husband, or ex-husband to be.

“Inside...corruption?” Yeri asked slowly as if it was something she’s hearing for the first time. “But how is that possible?”

“It’s a long story” Sung Gyu groaned, pressing his palms onto his eyes. The fact that she had genuinely forgotten sort of proved to him a point, she probably didn’t have anything to do with it. Why did he suspect her anyway? If she ever wanted to attack him in anyway, she would in a way that would hurt him where he was the most sensitive. And seeing as to how things had progressed, she never had the intention to, yet she already had, unconsciously so, hurt him hard. He didn’t even have to bring it up, in a sense. But now he wanted to, to show how little care she had apparently had for him, to disregard his favours, to act as if everything he’d done for her, for her family never mattered. He wanted her to realise that he was about to fall, and that she had largely contributed to his downfall too.

“I don’t understand” She went on, sounding concerned. “How did that come about? If its from eight years ago?”

“They’ve found some wiretapped conversations-,” Sung Gyu started, but Yeri interrupted him.

“Who’s they?”

“The NIS” He replied.

“How?”

“Some anonymous Informant”

Yeri mulled it over for a moment. “But why now?”

“Don’t know” He sighed and finally turned to face her. “Point is, I have been involved in it, there’s solid proof. Its not an easy case either, so if I have to go to court, I would have to and if I have to go to jail...” He trailed off, horrified to even think about the possibility. Hyerim had said that its unlikely it would go that far. He might get court orders; the proof of his involvement was obvious enough. Although he’d most probably get away with a few wons of a fine, his career would be jeopardised, the entire country would want him off his seat. It wouldn’t be easy to find his position again, all that he’d worked so hard on lost and gone forever.

“Sung Gyu...” She started and reached for his hand. Sung Gyu withdrew from her, and she seemed not to have noticed as she laid a hand on his thigh. “You didn’t tell me you were going through this...”

“Didn’t have time” He replied.

Yeri remained quiet, her hand still resting on his leg, a soft weight of comfort against him. For a moment, he almost found solace in her, in her genuine concern, in her attempt to comfort him. But then the fact that it had all been because of her immediately stroke back, and he let out a groan.

“What’s happened so far?” She asked him, oblivious to his discomfort.

“My flat got raided, don’t know who. And god knows what would happen if this reach the press”

He didn’t think about let alone speak aloud of when he nearly gave himself away to the press, willingly, by himself. His mind drifted off to Hyerim then, her cropped hair, her authoritative stance as she had crashed into his office and halted the interview then and there. She was cool that day, attractive, almost. She was everything that Yeri wouldn’t be. Yeri comforted, but Hyerim protected. He wasn’t sure what he needed the most right now.

“What about the police?” Yeri went on.

“They’re reinvestigating the tapes...after all, it’s a case from eight years ago. And I’m getting guarded for now by the NIS because of what happened to the flat”

At the thought of his NIS guard, something warm settled inside him. He had a guard, a loud mouthed, resilient, five feet tall guard. Its strange that she actually made him feel protected; it’s the first time he’s feeling anything but anger towards her.

“Guarded” She sighed, looking down at her feet. “At least that sounds promising, although I don’t get it why they have to pull out shit from eight years ago...” She looked at him. “I bet Belle Vie don’t have the executive or whoever that was any longer”

“They’re looking into it” He sighed, feeling as if a heavy weight had lifted from his shoulders. He didn’t want to feel that way. he wanted to bring out how she and her mother had most literally ruined his life by unwillingly dragging him into it. But as he looked at her, saw her actual concern, the only person in his bubble of life after Hyerim who was actually worried for him, he didn’t want to address it anymore. It wasn’t Yeri’s fault. She was only doing as her mother said. It was not her mother’s fault either, because in their social circle, the sort of favours similar to this were no big deals. They happened in a daily basis, perhaps; and most were buried in the ashes of the past. It was only that he was this unfortunate, nothing more.

“I hope things turn out fine for you” Yeri smiled.

It was when she smiled that something snapped inside him. In the dimness of the streetlight, sitting in front of the very coffee shop that they had visited so often, a ghost of his past lingered around him, all the possibilities that he’d lost floating about like a vengeful soul. Yeri was pregnant, she was getting married again, she was finally getting rid of him and sorting out her life, almost as if the past that they’ve had together, which had lasted for this long, had never existed. And a baby. He always wanted a baby. If things had turned out in the way that he favoured, this would be his chance of happiness. But no, he was sad and miserable and, in a way, resentful for everything that they could have been, but she never allowed them to be.

“So, how about you Yeri?” He asked slowly, and then, before he could stop himself, the words escaped his lips. “Seems like you finally got what you wanted” Sung Gyu hadn’t meant to put it that way; he hated how bitter that made him sound. But now that it was out in the open, there was nothing he could do about it.

Yeri stared at him, mouth agape and blinked as if in disbelief. “How...how do you know? Did mum tell you?”

Sung Gyu sighed and met her eyes. “I’ve been you husband long enough Yeri, I’m not blind”

Yeri licked her lips. Its as if she sensed a question coming between them, although he already knew the answer. “It...it isn’t you” She finally told him.

“I know” He sighed. “Because you’ve been so careful around me, Jesus, you never missed a pill”

“That’s because its what you wanted” Yeri snapped back, and Sung Gyu realised, a little too late, that he had actually said something that he shouldn’t have. But it had already started, and he wasn’t going to take anything back. Yeri had moisture in her eyes, and she sobbed loudly, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. “You never wanted children with me”

He hadn’t said that he never wanted. Sung Gyu could remember it, resolutely that he’d brought up the idea of children so many times in the early days of their marriage. Yeri had refused, mentioning that it was way too early. And he had respected her decision, doing as she wished and allowing the right time to come around. They’ve wordlessly beaten around the topic for a long time, and when she finally decided it was the right point in their lives to bring along a child, they were already pretty much drifting apart and Sung Gyu could only see it as her last resolve to patch up their marriage together; and of course, Sung Gyu had refused.

“You know that isn’t true” Sung Gyu returned. “I’ve mentioned it-,”

“What is this about, Sung Gyu?” Yeri returned, interrupting him. “Why do you have to bring this up now when everything is over?”

Sung Gyu mulled it over for a second. What was it about, anyway? What was he trying to gain out of this? Comfort. He realised, in the most disgusting, unrefined way. It was a comfort to have this conversation that they never really had, because they answered all the doubts and qualms he would have otherwise carried as a deadweight as he returned home.

“You didn’t even want to try back then...” He said slowly, recalling back to the early days of their marriage. “It must have been so bad with me then, seeing that you’ve gone forward with it even before you could even say ‘I do’”

“Sung Gyu...” She whispered, her lower lip trembling. “Don’t say it like that”

“I’m not saying like anything” Sung Gyu returned, frustrated. “We had our chance and-,”

“And I tried, Sung Gyu, you’re the one who refused until the end” Yeri pushed on.

“By then it was too late, Yeri, we both knew that” He sighed, recalling the last time they had this conversation. Yeri lost her good sense that night. She said that he was mentally hurting her. She said that she was tired; tired of him, tired of them, tired of their conversations which never seemed to lead to an agreement. Then Sung Gyu took it as a point and said; ‘So this is where you want to bring a child into? Do you think that would fix anything?’ He hated it that he remembered this moment more vividly than anything else, as if the truth had remained imprinted in his mind.

When Yeri said nothing, he got the impression that she believed otherwise. He let out a sigh, hating that he had to repeatedly bring out the same point until the end, and turned to face her. “And having a baby just so that it would possibly fix whatever we had was not the right way, Yeri”

Yeri stared at him for a long moment, and for a while Sung Gyu thought she would bash at his face. Instead, she climbed up on her feet. “Oh god, quit saying that Sung Gyu”

“I’m only telling the truth” Sung Gyu returned tiredly. “It wasn’t like you genuinely intended to have children with me. We were both tired of each other, but at that point it would have been the only solution” He breathed heavily and pressed a hand onto his head. “We were already over by then”

Yeri gaped at him for a moment and shook her head, as if in disbelief. “It was only you who thought we were over, Sung Gyu. I thought it was only a bad patch. Every married couple have a bad patch. I thought you would finally come around, but-,”

“Oh so now its my fault?” Sung Gyu returned harshly.

“For goodness sake Sung Gyu, I did not say that” Yeri sighed and came to sit down next to me. “I just thought we’d be okay...” She muttered slowly, and he realised, her voice was cracking, her lower lip trembled with every breath. There was a moment of silence, during which, everything came to a standstill and both of them gathered their thoughts. Sung Gyu stared before him, the night seemingly becoming darker, the street emptier. Yeri took a shaky breath beside him, and he did the mistake of glancing at her.

“I genuinely wanted to try, back then” She muttered, her eyes glassy, lost and trapped in a dark past. “I truly did. Not because I wanted to fix anything, but because I wanted my own children, and I wanted them with you”

Sung Gyu thought that the temperature around them dropped instantly, a shift of time and presence in a ghastly turn of events. He felt his insides breaking and shredding apart, and he daren’t look into her eyes lest she saw right through him, see how he’d started to dissolve.

But he still found the strength to utter her name.

Yeri shook her head, now smiling slightly, still at everything they used to be. “I always wished my child one day would be like you. Beautiful and smart; and driven yet kind and supportive like you were...And I wanted them to make that tiny sound that you do in your sleep, I thought it was adorable and imagined it in a child all the time. And I....” Her voice broke, and she pressed a hand onto her lip. “and I wanted you to know that there would always be someone looking up to you no matter what everyone had to say” She sighed and turned to him. “I don’t know how you’d feel, but I'm really proud of you. Thinking about everything you’ve achieved makes me really happy. The youngest in the legislation? Just how strong one need to be?” She shook her head and turned away. “I was happy with you, and I loved you. But for you, I was just there, unimportant and irritating...” She let out a sigh and stared ahead.

Sung Gyu felt himself trembling inside. He was suddenly in an unknown territory; the woman he’d thought he always knew a complete stranger in his eyes. He had a habit of imagining that his judgement was always right; there was no possibility that they could go wrong; after all, that’s where he started his life. But with each turn in his life, things started to prove him otherwise. No, his judgement was not right, no, he was not seeing things through, no, he did not understand enough. He would have tallied it down to a mistake; everyone made mistakes. But at this point, he hadn’t no grounds to stand on. He did not make a mistake; no, he had been utterly and completely wrong.

“Is that...?” He started, finally finding his voice. “Is that how you really...thought of me?”

Yeri looked up at him, met his eyes and tried to smile. “Always” She said, making his heart constrict, and she looked away. “But what was the point? Its all over now...all gone”


	7. Chapter 7

Sung Gyu didn’t think he still loved her, and when he placed a hand on his chest, he could feel it too. It wasn’t that he loved her that broke his heart; things like that, things so sensitive and in his mind, so superfluous wouldn’t have hurt him. He’d lived his entire life, being unloved, being thrown on the back burner for better things. His parents had him for the sake of having him, for his sister he was just another competitor she could win against. If there was anyone who had even an ounce of love towards him, that would be his niece; but then again, she was just a child. When she’d grown old enough to see the harsh reality of life, her beloved uncle would be nothing to her. Sung Gyu had always imagined that he was someone who’d die alone and disperse into the wind; it had never bothered him. But that night, he supposed, what hurt him the most was not that Yeri had perhaps loved him, actually loved him; but he’d been too blind to it the whole time and failed to realise it. What hurt him the most was that he had never been loved that he didn’t know what it felt like to _be_ loved, so much so that he had ignored and thrown her away.

He still didn’t love her, but when he left her that night for the last time, his heart shattered inside. Perhaps, she deserved a chance, and he should have known. Perhaps she’d been the only actual person in his life to have loved him, and he had just let her go.

Before he left, he told her to be careful, and also that she might possibly be contacted by the NIS to come in for questioning. He begged her to not to let her parents know; that would be a sure-fire course of his parents learning about it too. Yeri held his arm, as if she understood it was the very last time and asked him to be careful himself. ‘Tell me if you need anything’ she whispered to him as she hugged him for the last time; but both she and Sung Gyu knew for a fact that it was never going to happen.

That night, once he arrived home, he was surprised by how everything remained exactly how he’d left them but so many things in his life had changed. Momo came to welcome him, as always, rubbing past his legs and meowing in this sort of affectionate way that he felt was the only form of love he’d ever receive. He carried her to the kitchen, refilled her feeder, picked up the six pack he recently got from the market, a bottle of Soju and a plastic cup; then he locked the house behind him and crept up the stairs to the rooftop.

As much as it was his safe haven, as it happens, it was the same for somebody else too. He was surprised and irritated to find it already occupied, but then a sense of relief crept in upon seeing the size of the occupant and their short hair dancing in the chilled wind. Just what he needed right now. He slowly traversed across the concrete floor towards the bench that she was seated on, a couple of glass bottles on her side. He gazed at her from the behind for a split of a moment, feeling strangely giddy in her presence, and he cleared his throat. “You’re taking up my space, Jung”

Hyerim whipped around, her hair in her face and eyes widened in surprise. Her expression was soon replaced by a mischievous smile. He found it endearing. “You don’t own it, Kim”

Sung Gyu shrugged and made his way towards her, and she wordlessly cleared some space for him. It felt almost natural to be seated side-by-side to one another, basking in their own comfort and silence, as if it was something that they mutually agreed on.

Sung Gyu reached into his breast pocket and produced a cigarette and his lighter. But just as he rested the stick between his teeth, Hyerim reached out and tugged it off his mouth. Then she vigorously crushed it underneath her boot.

“What the fuck do you have against my cigarettes?” he asked her mildly and was surprised when she offered him a lime flavoured Chupa-Chups.

“Because I don’t want you to die soon” She said, watching him as he carefully unwrapped the candy.

He scoffed. “Like you care”

“You’re right, I don’t” She grinned.

“Then I take it as you carry lollipops at your dispense all the time” Sung Gyu said as he popped the candy into his mouth.

Hyerim shrugged. A moment, and she prodded the concrete ground with the top of her scuffed leather boot. “no, its just I hate cigarettes...after my father died”

Sung Gyu turned to face her, realising that they’d be delving into a part of her life that he hadn’t seen before. “Your father?”

“Mmhm” She nodded her head. “He was a police officer, the coolest one I’ve known” She laughed fondly, perhaps, at memories of a beautiful past. “After my mum left me, he singlehandedly raised me; couldn’t have been easy for him. I wasn’t a particularly nice kid”

Sung Gyu cracked open a can from his six set and handed it to her. “Yes, I can see that”

She laughed again, a pleasant melody in his ears. “I thought he didn’t mind much, but perhaps he did because he never really let it show...I miss him, my dad” She sighed and looked down at her feet where the crushed cigarette still lied, now broken, like remnants of a painful past.

“Is it because of him...? That you joined the police too?” Sung Gyu asked her, his eyes focused ahead, his own can of chilled bear in his hand.

“Yeah...” She breathed out heavily, and by the corner of his eyes he could see her sipping from her can. “Thanks for the beer by the way”

“No problem” Sung Gyu raised his own can as if in a treaty. And then silence for a little too long.

“He must be pretty proud of you” He told her, noticing her extended moment of quietness. Sung Gyu wasn’t used to Hyerim being so quiet in his presence. She was so loud and frustrating, he could swear there had never been a moment that she would shut up, to the point that she nearly the sort of things that she shouldn’t numerous times. He glanced down at her, searching for the effects of what he’d just told her. Hyerim was smiling, a tiny twinkle in her eyes. The lights coming from the city was slightly falling upon her pristine skin. It was strange, really. He felt his heart skip a little beat.

“I don’t know...” Hyerim sighed in the end. “I suck as a police woman. Nothing I do work out fine”

“That’s because you’re too impulsive” He pointed out, referring to the recent turn of events with regards to his investigation.

“Thanks” Hyerim pouted. “Great help”

“Don’t mention it” Sung Gyu grinned. Then silence.

“But honestly” he piped up a moment later. “I think you’re a pretty decent police woman. I mean, you know...stuff” he cleared his throat, realising he wasn’t making much sense.

“Stuff” Hyerim spluttered and broke into a fit of giggles. She had quite a pleasant laughter, he noted, surprising himself. Sung Gyu had known Hyerim for his entire stay in the apartment building, he’d crossed path with her enough to say that he knew her like an open book; but as they dropped their guard before each other, something new about her seemed to come up to the surface. Strangely, Sung Gyu was beginning to see little charms of her that he seemed to have never noted before; the sound of her laughter, that odd little dimple on the corner of her chin when she smiled, the way her eyes smiled and curled up on the edge, that distinct sound she seemed to make as she plunged into her thoughts; things that he found oddly endearing, as if he was folding the pages of her mystery, a woman who’d been in his life for so long and he’d never known.

They fell into a comfortable moment of silence then, both staring out at the vast horizon, the city lightening up the night sky with a line of yellow lights. The moment was tranquil, just what he needed to contemplate in, to allow his mind to unravel and allow all his qualms to float away into the nether. During that time, Sung Gyu thought of his Ex-wife, of what ifs and could have beens which he was certain would haunt him as long as he lasted. How could he not have known? How could he have been so wrong? He had thought, being a judge, it had given him the luxury of reading people right off the first page. During the time of his experience as a judge, he had deducted the lives of numerous strangers forward and back, made judgements and conclusions solely based on their words and emotions inflicted in their eyes. That entire time, however, he had failed. He had failed as a judge, as a husband, as a man. He had failed to understand that perhaps, all this time what he had misinterpreted had been love all along, perhaps the only kind of love he’d ever receive, and he’d been so close yet so far away until it was gone forever. Sung gyu didn’t think he’d ever be able to forgive himself.

“What brings you up here, Kim?” Hyerim’s voice floating into his mind felt like a rain across his drought of a heart. He glanced at her and shrugged. He was slightly drunk and exhausted, his head was pounding after having been filled with everything that transpired in a matter of hours and now frankly, he needed a release.

By some luck, just the right person happened to be in his company, and he didn’t hesitate. He didn’t have to. Sung Gyu pursed his lips for a moment, gazing down at the tip of her left boot scuffing onto the cement. He let out a sigh. “Yeri and I finally got divorced today...” He felt her stiffen a little beside him, but for some reason, that urged him to carry on. “She’s getting married again, and...” He hesitated, playing for time as he fiddled with the ring on top of his can, the lollipop melting in is other hand.

“She’s going to have a baby...”

There was no reaction for a moment. No sharp intake of breath, no stiffening, no gasping, just silence. He thought she hadn’t heard him speak, he thought she simply didn’t care. When he finally dared to glance at her, however, she was gazing at him intently as if she was trying to read through his mind.

“Grim” She said upon meeting his eyes. There wasn’t much emotion to her words, just casual, conversational. But it wasn’t hard to sense the slight tension underlying in her tone. “How do you know? Did she tell you that?”

He glanced at her and smiled sadly. “I’m not blind”

There was a beat of silence, during which he realised what she was getting at. He could almost feel the strain radiating from every pore of her, but he kept quiet and to himself.

There was a small breathiness in the way she spoke next.

“Then...what about, what about...?”

He knew what that meant, and certainly, he didn’t have to think twice. “It’s not me”

Sung Gyu could swear he heard her sighing in relief.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, about Yeri having a child. But he certainly was not relieved. In the back of his mind, a voice was telling him, she’d gotten everything that _he_ wanted. He knew it deep inside that perhaps, a child could have fixed things, although he hated the idea of using one as a scapegoat to their failing marriage. Perhaps, had he given it time, things would have worked out, a baby would have made them happy and whatever they had between them could have faded away. A bad patch. Perhaps that’s indeed what they had going on between them, and Sung Gyu just refused to understand that.

But how could he have worked it out? He didn’t love her, and he didn’t even know that she loved him in return. How could it have worked?

“So...what are you going to do?” Hyerim asked him slowly, as if she was walking on eggshells. He was glad she understood just how sensitive he felt about it.

“Nothing” He shrugged, and had a long slug of his beer, allowing the cold sourness trickle down his throat like waves. He closed his eyes and groaned afterwards, shaking his head as if that very action would rid him of all the qualms in his mind.

It was then that he felt it, her hand a light weight on his arm. For some reason, he felt warm where she touched him, sparks exuding underneath his skin.

“Don’t think too much...” She said lightly, her voice almost a whisper in the warm breeze. “Who knows? Maybe one day you’d meet another woman who would love you, and you two would pop a dozen of cute little things”

Sung Gyu found himself laughing at the way she worded it, and he had a sudden image of a dozen of little babies flooding his apartment; and strangely, the woman figure in his mind was none other than Hyerim herself, laughing her weird laughter and being the adorable little self that she always was. Sung Gyu tried to shake the image away from his mind, but for that moment, it was endearing.

Hyerim laughed along with him, her voice a light tinkle in the humid air, like wedding chimes. He glanced at her, and his heart stopped for a moment. Is this how Hyerim looked when she laughed? Her eyes were disappearing into little crescent moons, her set of teeth a line of white pearls, and when she threw her head back, her hair did a small dance in the wind; the light coming from the city fell on her skin, and for a moment, he was mesmerized.

Hyerim looked at him, still laughing as his own laughter died down. They stared at each other for a little too long, her eyes falling into his and looking right into the depths of them, making him feel self-conscious. He cleared his throat and turned away to drink from his can.

“I’m...I’m not thinking about marriage again” Sung Gyu informed her a little later. The cheerful ambiance from a moment ago had most certainly dissipated, and Sung Gyu was suddenly so acutely aware of her presence beside him. He gazed down at his hands holding the can. “With everything that’s happening right now, I can’t simply bring in another person let alone...a child into my life” He let out a heavy sigh. “I will ruin their lives...just like I ruined hers”

A moment of silence ensued afterwards, during which Sung Gyu mulled over the possibilities. There was none, if he was to be honest. There was no way that he would even consider getting tangled up again. His marriage had left him with nothing but a scar, one that would remain on his frail heart as long as he lasted, and also a black mark on his career, one he could have avoided but simply didn’t have the liberty to. In a way, he was just afraid. Afraid of what one bring upon him, afraid of how that would destroy him further, how he’d destroy another. Love was not for him. It had never been; from the day he was born and had opened his eyes to the world. It simply wasn’t something that he had the heart to accept or deliver.

“If that’s what you want” Sounded Hyerim’s voice in the quietness of the night, and he turned to face her. “Then it’s fine as well...” Hyerim smiled at him and patted on his arm. “You will be okay. Once all of this pass, you’d realise that it was all just...temporary. One day, you’d be happier. But for now...” She sighed and looked far ahead. “It’s okay”

 

 _Temporary...happier..._ The truth was, those were the sort of things that Sung Gyu found it hard to believe in. Back in college, he had thought perhaps his parents would come out of that phase, the phase of seeing only faults in him, seeing him only through the eyes that they’d always seen his sister. He’d believed that perhaps, it was just temporary, they would change, they’d finally see his worth as he became exactly what they wanted him to be. He graduated, passed the bars with flying colours, entered the profession of jurisdiction early for his age and finally proved his worth. But by that time, that particular ship had long sailed away. His sister was getting married; what more to expect? He was the man who dated women here and there, never settled for one, never capable of love. He should have known that happiness and temporality had never been in the attributes of his life. True, he understood the impermanency of everything. But the things that made him miserable never seemed to fade away.

But for that moment, he wanted to believe her, he wanted to trust her words to carry any sense of truth. Perhaps, he wouldn’t end up going to jail. It would all turn around. He would be happier, his parents would be prouder, he would be worthy of something and people would start seeing him for his truest self. As the night became colder and the city lights grew dimmer, Sung Gyu wanted to hold onto that hope as hard as he could. Yes, that’s what it was. Perhaps, he did have hope.

And that seemed to be what glowed incessantly in Hyerim’s dark pools of eyes.

“Hm?” Hyerim blinked at him, a small smile donning her lips. She looked quite beautiful that night; he had to admit. He liked the way her hair did this thing across her face, and how she kept pushing the strands back from getting into her eyes. He noticed how a thin fringe had stuck to the moist of her lips and fought the strange urge he had to run his fingers along them.

He cleared his throat and looked away. “I...I hope you’re right” He said, for the lack of better things to say.

Hyerim laughed, and then they both fell into quietness, staring across the vast universe as the world continued before them. The sky was starless, the yellow in the horizon had started dimming. But somewhere down in the street, someone was  playing music so loud that they could literally hear it up in the ninth floor. Sung Gyu glanced at her for a briefest moment, and noticed the obvious distort in her eyes.

He wondered if it was his cue to comfort her, ask her of her wellbeing. But before he could even form an appropriate question in his mind, her voice crossed through the quietness between them.

“So both us had trouble with the Ex tonight” She muttered, her eyes focused right ahead and tone so poised, almost unperturbed.

Sung Gyu turned to her, trying to make the sense of her words. “So that’s why you’re up here?”

She sighed and gazed down at her scuffed shoes, hand holding the can hanging over her knee. “I did what you suggested. I went out to lunch with him”

Sung Gyu blinked. If he was to be honest, at that very moment, he could hardly remember what he could have told her earlier that day. He said nothing, and as if she understood what it meant, she gave him a tight smile. “Woohyun, I mean”

It took a quiet moment for the truth to dawn upon him. “Wait” he started and widened his eyes. “Woohyun is-,”

“My ex, yes” Hyerim sighed and tilted her head. “Well, it’s more like, I don’t know...almost? On-and-off? We have a strange thing going on, Woohyun and I. He has...commitment issues. One moment, he’s all over me. The other, he’d rather if we remained co-workers or friends. I wanted to end it. But then he asked what there was to end...” She pursed her lips and chuckled bitterly as she gazed ahead. “Honestly I don’t understand what he expects of me.... I’m just, pushed and pulled around-,”

“I’m sorry” Sung Gyu said, interrupting her. He could hardly look her in the eyes, overcome with guilt. For some reason, he couldn’t bear listening to her, the weight and the remorse in her words, that pain, that regret. Even worse, he hated himself for not knowing whereas she had known almost everything about Yeri and him and had mostly taken his side. There was no wonder that people left him, never loved him. A self-centred fool, he was. He should never have done that, what he did in the morning. He shouldn’t have-,

“What for?” Hyerim asked him, and he was surprised to see her smiling.

“No, uhm” He cleared his throat. “About this morning. I didn’t know...I mean, I always thought he looked sort of dodgy, but I didn’t know that-,”

“That I had such a terrible taste in men?” Hyerim offered, and the look in her face at that point made him smile.

“No, I mean...yeah, that too” He replied.

Hyerim laughed and shook her head. “Well, he is not a bad person, to be honest. He is...alright. But he just can’t make up his mind, at this point he’s just using me”

“Doesn’t sound like a good person either” Sung gyu pointed out to her, gesturing with the can of beer in his hand. And then he took a large gulp of it in hopes it would tone down his guilt.

Hyerim shrugged. “We’ve been going back and forth for three years at least. I’m tired. I’d rather just...not have him at all”

Sung Gyu glanced up at her. “Why don’t you just leave?”

“Then I’d have to leave my job as well” She replied with a sad smile. There was silence for a moment, and in that quietness Sung gyu devoured on his beer, his thoughts unreeling. How come he never knew that Hyerim had a boyfriend of three years? How come he had never seen him before? He must have visited her at her flat, surely. He must have been a bigger part of her, as big as Yeri had been for him. Then how had he not known anything about her while Hyerim seemed to know and understand everything about him?

He knew that he hadn’t any responsibility over her. There was no reason why he should know anything. But for some reason, he just couldn’t shake that guilt away. It was almost as if he owed that to her.

“You know, on the other hand, I can’t imagine myself without him either” Hyerim’s voice cut into the silence after a while. Sung Gyu looked down at her, only to see that she had stretched back, her weight resting on her arms. Sung Gyu felt something stirring alive inside him. She looked strong and vulnerable at the same time; a strangely exquisite combination.

“Why not?” He ventured out.

“Because...I don’t know. He’s all I have. Without him, I’ll be alone; I’ll be lonely...” She suddenly sat up then and looked up at him in grim determination. “I think it’s not about him after all. It’s about me. I’m using him to not feel lonely and he’s using me to, I don’t know, cater to his needs”

It must have been the heat of the moment, everything that happened in the span of that time taking a toll on him; but he felt her, he understood her. He realised, with a pang that their life had been similar to each other in a way that he had never imagined.

As much as he wanted to bring this up to her, he failed miserably in putting his feelings into words. Sung Gyu wetted his lips, his eyes focused only down at his feet. “That’s pretty messed up” He told her and realised that it’s been the same for him as well; perhaps even worse. He and Yeri had been _married._

“It is...it is...” Hyerim agreed, her voice sounded distant and preoccupied; as if she had more stirring in her mind. “But you know what’s more messed up?”

Sung Gyu turned to her and raised his brows.

“I keep wanting him. Not because I love him, I don’t think I would after all he’d done to me. I keep wanting him because I’m afraid of being alone”

Sung Gyu felt a sharp pain coursing right through him. He could relate to her, to that very emotion, perhaps in a spiritual level. He parted his lips to respond, but she beat it to him.

“You know, I have this crazy messed up idea in my mind that I would be one of those people who’d disappear, and nobody would even realise that” She continued, her eyes focused far ahead across the horizon. “We had a case once; a disappearance of this girl. She’d lived alone; her and her pet dog. You know, nobody knew that she’d disappeared for two days; only when her dog started barking all through the night that her neighbours realised that she hadn’t been home for a long time...” She let out a heavy sigh, lowering her head, and Sung Gyu gazed at her as an indescribable emotion urged him to comfort her. He kept his composure; but he wasn’t sure if he could for too long. “We found her...she was alright, but...what I realised is that it could have been me, and I don’t even have a dog to bark when I’m gone” She ended with a bitter laugh.

“Is that why you stay with Woohyun?” Sung Gyu asked her gently, and she nodded in response.

Sung Gyu nodded back and turned away with a heavy sigh. “Well, just for your information, I’m there right across the corridor”

“But you don’t bark” Hyerim said, smiling.

“I don’t” Sung gyu nodded in agreement. “But I can check on you...I will check on you”

For his amazement, Hyerim scoffed in response. “Right. If you bash on my door to yell at me, I’ll take it as checking on me”

“Come on it was just that one time” Sung gyu rolled his eyes.

“Three times” Hyerim grinned, looking up at him. Sung Gyu stared down at her, as he couldn’t remember the other two times for the life of him. But then, perhaps seeing his perplexed expression, Hyerim burst out laughing.

“Once you got drunk and locked yourself out” She reminded him through her cackles. He had a hard time recalling that moment; all for the reason that he couldn’t remember much from the times that he’d gotten appallingly drunk. But he could vaguely extract that memory of himself, drunkenly leaning against the wall, struggling to punch in the pass code and failing miserably in his every attempt. He’d had a terrible day; perhaps a lunch out with his family or an argument with Yeri, he couldn’t remember. He got easily frustrated when his mind wasn’t at peace. It was perhaps after his umpteenth attempt that he’d trudged over to the opposite door around the corner and started bashing at the door frantically. Hyerim had opened the door, a towel turban atop her head; and that was the time that Sung Gyu had most unwillingly told her his passcode, hence her walking into his apartment in many unsuspecting occasions.

He hadn’t known at that moment that a large part of him had shifted in his life.

“That’s just two times” Sung Gyu shrugged, hiding his smile. He hadn’t realised that Hyerim had been there for him a lot more than he could possibly recall.

“Oh, and remember that time when Momo ran away and you-,”

He could hardly remember that moment; it was just a couple of weeks after she moved into the flat, and he’d been frantically looking for Momo all over the corridors after the cat escaped while he was trying to unload the grocery inside. He went and knocked on all the doors in the corridor, asking if they’d seen the cat. It was perhaps the first time that both Sung Gyu and Momo met Hyerim, Sung Gyu having knocked on her door and Momo having somehow slipped in and used her still unpacked baggage as a scratch post.

“I liked the cat more” Hyerim put in, laughing as she recalled the very same moment herself.

“Right. Because she ruined your bag” He replied.

“At least she didn’t look like I was burdening her” She raised her eyes at him and smiled. Sung gyu just smiled back; it was almost natural for him. It’s been ages since their first encounter, and a lot had changed between them since then. They’ve developed a comfortable dynamic between them; friends by choice, neighbours by default. And it was a comfort, knowing her. It was a comfort to have someone who understood him at a time when the entire world stood against him.

“You know” He started, as it occurred to him that its time that she should know. “You’re not going to disappear like her”

“Hm?” Hyerim perked up, and she’d stolen the lolly from him without him realising it. She now had it in her mouth.

“You are not going to disappear” He reiterated, this time, firmly. “It’s not going to happen”

“Yeah well, nobody wants to kidnap me anyway” Hyerim laughed.

“That’s not what I meant” Sung Gyu sighed and turned to her. “Look, Jung. You’ve done so much for me and I feel like I owe it to you. So you’ve got me right across the corridor, you call me whenever you need me, and I’ll be there”

Hyerim halted for a moment, staring at him dazedly. Then she pulled the lolly out of her mouth. “How sweet of you”

“I’m serious” Sung Gyu added determinedly. “I mean, you’ve helped me so much and-,”

“I didn’t expect anything in return” Hyerim replied. Sung Gyu halted at what he was about to say, only to turn and gaze at her. She looked back at him, the look in her eyes unreadable, her hair flying across her face.

Sung Gyu had always thought that Yeri was the most complex woman he had ever met. Her expressions didn’t reflect her emotions; her smiles always felt like a mask, curtaining away the sort of things she’d never put into words. As he’d understood now, it was him who’d made her complicated; he’d tried to see right through her, and in turn he’d misinterpreted her intentions, read through the lines of things which were just out there in the open for everyone to see. When she’d loved him, he’d thought it was burdensome, when she’d shown him affection, he’d thought she was prying into his life. Everything she’d been, he’d turned and twisted them around until the image of her in his mind had disfigured, and he’d held onto the version of her that he’d created for so long.

Jung Hyerim was nothing like her. Hyerim was complicated; it wasn’t something he was trying to make up. It’s been easy to read Yeri’s eyes; what’s been hard was accepting how he’d interpreted her actions. Hyerim, on the other hand was too difficult to even read let alone understand. If Yeri was like jurisdiction laws, Hyerim was fucking Proust.

“That’s...” Sung Gyu started and cleared his throat. “That’s not what I meant...”

Hyerim just smiled gently and gazed away at the dimming lights of the city before them. It had to be past midnight now, and the city had begun to lose its colour. But that did nothing to the brilliance in her eyes.

“You don’t need to take care of me” She started, a small smile gracing her lips. “I’m not that kind of a person. I’d rather just...have you there. Just like you are right now”

Sung Gyu mulled it over for a moment. “You mean, like a companion” He replied.

Hyerim turned to him, her smile still visible, and blinked drunkenly at him. He had a hard time trying to decipher her expression; whatever that possibly meant, the look in her eyes. She then patted him slowly on his hand. “You feel alone too, don’t you?”

Sung Gyu gulped hard at the implication of her words. “That’s just what you think...”

“We can take care of each other” Hyerim continued as if she hadn’t even heard him. “Two lonely people who don’t want to die alone in their apartments...that makes quite a pair, doesn’t it?”

“What?” Sung Gyu blinked. Not once had he considered the possibility of him dying alone in his apartment. But now that she’d put it into words, the horror of the event finally settled in side him like a haunting reminder.

“Don’t worry that won’t happen” Hyerim went on as if it was any consolation and handed him his half-eaten lollipop. “You can have it if you still want it”

Sung Gyu glanced at the candy and then back at her. “Dying alone in the apartment is the last thing I’m worried about” He reminded her.

“What does that mean?”

Sung Gyu raised his brows and had a sip of his beer. He did not accept the lollipop. It just felt too intimate to have it back from her. “South Korea’s most wanted” He said.

“Ah...there you are, doing that again” Hyerim groaned into the quietness of the night.

“Doing what?”

Hyerim shrugged and sipped her beer herself. Then she turned to him, her eyes narrowed into tiny slits. “You know, sometimes you make me wonder if you’re so eager to go to jail”

Sung Gyu spluttered. “What made you think that?”

“The way you make it sound like”

“I’m just being realistic” He replied gravely, wishing that indeed, it wasn’t the truth. He had actually calculated the possibility of him getting a jail sentence. There was a chance that he could get pardoned by court, yet he wished they wouldn’t need to go to trial. Jail would ruin him, but trial would ruin him all the same. Jail or no jail, his life wouldn’t be the same again.

Hyerim let out a heavy sigh and turned to him. “Look. Woohyun might be an asshole but as an investigator, he’s brilliant. You’re not going to jail; I can assure that”

Sung Gyu nodded, pursed his lips and looked down at his feet. “It’s not jail that I’m worried about” He said.

“We’ll make sure nothing makes it to the media as well” Hyerim continued.

Sung Gyu couldn’t help but scoff in response. Hyerim could be good at her work, but sometimes she could be naïve in her thinking. There wasn’t anything that could possibly avoid reaching the media. The informants were still unidentified, the ones who raided his flat are yet to be caught. It’s not too far from the news reaching the main stream media and his face will be all over the place. There’s nothing that a good investigator could do against the media. It’s a force that nobody could merely fight against.

“Sometimes you just need to have faith, Kim” She added in as an end note, and Sung Gyu nodded, allowing her to have her ways. He wished there was a way. He just wished. But seeing as to how things were playing out, there was no way that they would turn in his favour. Hyerim and Woohyun had to remain unbiased; they were the investigators, and the rest would be in the prosecution’s hand. Going for a private defence would be a definite call for trouble, and a public prosecutor will never stand his side. Whatever the path he’d take would eventually lead him to the end of his career. So he might as well live this moment for now, being by this strange woman who unexpectedly entered his life and struggled to put things into perspective. For now, he’d appreciate her unrelenting optimism. For now, he’d appreciate her keeping his spirit alive.

*

Jung Hyerim seemed to take the whole “Taking care of each other” arrangement way too literally that the next morning, he woke up to her ringing his doorbell and Momo howling along at the sound like a dog. He trudged over to his door, still in Pyjamas, painfully hungover, his head still ringing, and happened to find her leaning against the door, two cups of coffee in hand.

“Morning, Kim” She greeted, her tone firm and business-like. “Can I come in?”

“You’ve come this far so you might as well” Sung Gyu shrugged and opened the door wider for her. The both of them relocated to the living room where Sung Gyu cleared a chair of unfolded laundry and old take away wrappers. Momo trudged inside to inspect the new comer and lazily stretched across the floor. Sung Gyu fondled her fluffy stomach with his bare feet as Hyerim placed a warm cup of coffee on the stool before him.

“This is too early for anything” Sung Gyu groaned when she pulled out a manila folder. He then noticed hazily that she was already dressed for work. Sung gyu was pretty sure that she got just as drunk as he did the previous night. Didn’t this woman ever get hungover?

“Aren’t you supposed to go to work anyway?” Hyerim returned distractedly.

“Have time”

“Well, we don’t” Hyerim raised her brows and then placed the content of the Manila folder before him. “So we’ve finally ruled down the possible suspects who raided your flat the other day-,”

“Finally, thank god”

Hyerim shot him a glare and continued. “-and as it happens, we’re beginning to see sort of a lead here...” She leaved through the documents and finally pulled out a detail sheet, a coloured photo of a middle-aged man in a police uniform was attached to it.

“This is Yong Jung Min. He’s the current chief officer of the Gangnam police station and is said to have close connections to Judge Ryu Wonho...does the name ring a bell?”

Sung Gyu blinked. Of course, it did, there was no chance that it wouldn’t. “The presiding judge for the Belle-Vie case”

It’s been so long and Sung Gyu wouldn’t have remembered the name just in the same way that he hadn’t remembered the case. But Ryu Wonho was a judge that he personally admired back then; his sense of justice was no match to any other and he’d had this way of addressing in court that was almost mesmerizing. He wasn’t his presiding judge. But more than once had he associated with him and confided in him during his time in the court. Even on that day as they had discussed the possibilities for the Belle-Vie executive, Ryu Wonho was rational, professional. It was hard to believe even then that what they were involved in was wrong.

It had taken longer than it should have for him to realise that sometimes, a good personality could be equally threatening.

“Yes, him” Hyerim nodded and pulled out another manila folder; then she spread the content on the coffee table. “So, first of all, I’m not supposed to do this, but I wanted to let you know” She rubbed a side of her nose without meeting his eyes. “However, we believe that its Ryu Wonho who’s after you...we’re still looking into the reasons. But there’s a possibility that it had something to do with Ryu Wonho trying for the Supreme court”

Sung Gyu gazed down at the documents before him, the blurry images and jumbles of letters floating listlessly in his mind. He’d trusted Ryo Wonho. He had idealised him. He hadn’t much recollection from that day when their discussion on the Belle-Vie executive happened, but he didn’t think there was anything that Ryu Wonho would want to find from his possession. Even if he did, he didn’t think he was the kind of a person who’d take the sort of measures that he indeed seem to have.

“I don’t understand” He lifted his head and looked at her. “Why does it have anything to do with me?”

“Looks like they’re after something” Hyerim sighed and pulled out the photographs attached with the sheets. One, of a car in a car park, another couple of pictures of a bleary image of a man. “We’ve investigated the dash cams of the apartment as well as CCTV in nearing hotels, restaurants and coffee shops. And we connected the scenes from a couple of different viewpoints and concluded with this” Hyerim leaned over, her voice lowered but firm and determined. “See this?” She pointed at the bleary human figure from the dash cams. The figure appeared to have been in different locations, all in different occasions still around the same span of time. “This is a guy who goes under the name ‘K’. He’d had different identities and had been convicted a couple of times for information fraud. He and his cronies go around retrieving confidential information, illegally accessing official databases and a few other cyber and information related crimes. But he’d been bailed out of jail and his cases are always thrown under the rug”

Sung Gyu stared at the grainy human image for a long time, trying to recall his identity and if he had ever come across him. “Sounds like someone that could be of use” Sung Gyu muttered, thinking about his own civil cases related to cyber-crimes. He raised his head and looked at Hyerim. “So, who keeps him out of jail?” He already knew the answer. He was a judge after all. But he needed the expertise clarification.

Hyerim gave him a knowing smile. “You guessed it right...Gangnam police station”

“Yong Jung Min...”

Its not uncommon that the police sometimes worked along with convicted criminal which allowed them to have mutual benefits. Looking back at his civil cases, there’s been numerous times he’d heard and prosecuted cases where the information had been formicated by the police as well as the identity of the real culprit was never revealed under the guise of insufficient evidence. Many cases had been thrown under the rug, suspects appealed, and culprits pardoned, all for the power of politicians, businessmen and culprits that could impose their autonomy over the security forces. It was disgusting, really. But he couldn’t say a thing as he himself had been blatantly used in a power monopoly, and worse of all, he’d allowed himself to be used.

“So what do they want from me?” Sung Gyu asked, sitting back in his chair. He was pretty sure there was nothing of value to a particular criminal fraud lying around in his flat. He made the connections; K was sent by Yong Jung Min and Yong Jung Min’s backed up by Ryu Wonho who was obviously after something in Sung Gyu’s possession that he had no idea of. Yet, whatever that was had everything to do with the Belle Vie case, and somehow connected to the possibility of Wonho becoming a Supreme court Justice. What he couldn’t make sense was of how he was connected, and what part he played in it. Ryu Wonho certainly had a bigger conviction over the Belle vie case. But what was he trying to achieve? Was it that he was trying to hide all evidence related to the case to secure his position in the supreme court? Or was it something more?

The two of them discussed the possibilities for a while, and according to her, it was still quite hard to tell, given that the origin of the recording was unidentified. It wasn’t easy to track down where it came from; given that it had no cyber trace and all physical evidence was almost untraceable. But there was one thing obvious; Ryu Wonho did send K after him. And given that K never appeared again; it was possible that they found what he was looking for.

“I believe that he was only searching if there was anything with you that could come as evidence against Ryu Wonho” Hyerim said after a while, her brows furrowed as she contemplated the possibilities. “After all, becoming a supreme court justice was not an easy feat. He certainly wants his track to be clean”

“Well, I don’t suppose I did have anything” Sung gyu shrugged, feeling quite sure about himself. When he left the civil court life behind, he’d pretty much abandoned everything that had to do with it. And certainly, bringing back anything related to possible insider fraud would never have been in his agenda.

“I guess that’s what keeps K away for the time being”

Sung Gyu let out a heavy sigh. “That certainly doesn’t sound like good news to me”


End file.
